ZOO JOKES!

Zoo JOKES

An enterprising mayor of the city of Granby, Quebec, a community south of Montreal, established a municipal zoo that has become a significant tourist attraction.
It has also given rise to many unusual events.
Last September one of the star attractions, Arnold, an Indonesian ape, escaped to the dismay of the zoo director.
The matter was a serious one because the members of the staff of the zoo, while expert at caring for animals, had no experience whatsoever in rounding them up or capturing them.
The zoo director appealed to the office of the mayor for help and the secretary to the mayor asked, "Have you looked in the yellow pages"?
The director said he hadn't, but would, immediately.
To his surprise, under "animal capturing service" he found a listing for the Acme Ape Apprehenders.
He called them immediately.
Within 20 minutes, a panel truck arrived at the admin office of the zoo and a small man emerged and rushed to the director who was waiting at the door.
"Is there a wooded area in the vicinity?", the little man asked.
The director said there was, within one half mile from the zoo.
"Hop in the truck", the little man said.
The director did and they drove off.
Minutes later they arrived at a small grove and immediately spotted Arnold on a branch about 25 feet above the ground.
The two men got out, went to the back of the truck and the little man opened the door.
An excited little dog jumped out and began running around in circles.
The little man reached into the truck and took out a suitcase, which he opened.
In the suitcase were a pair of handcuffs, which he handed to the zoo director, a sawed off shotgun, which he leaned against the trunk of the tree, and a baseball bat.
"Now," the little man said, "I'm going up into the tree with the baseball bat, and I'm going to knoc k the ape out of the tree.
The instant the ape hits the ground the dog, well trained, will bite the ape by the crotch and chomp-down with his jaws.
The ape will, instantly and instinctively, grab at his crotch with both hands due to the pain, and you snap the handcuffs on and we've got him.
The zoo director, pointing to the shotgun leaning against the tree, said "I'm not too sure about this -- what's the gun for?" The little man said, "Look, I'm an expert.
I know what I'm doing and things will go just fine, after all, I have the baseball bat.
I know my job and it'll never happen but if the ape should, by any chance, knock ME out of the tree, SHOOT THE DOG!!!"