1 - A convicted con man was recently found to be
impersonating a lawyer in New York City. To which o... More ›› 2 - A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend
asked the
tombstone maker to inscribe on his
tombs... More ›› 3 - A guy walks into a post office one day
to
see a middle-aged, balding man standing at
the counte... More ›› 4 - Why
didn't Cupid shoot his arrow at the
lawyer's heart?
Because even Cupid can't hit a target... More ›› 5 - Lawyer: "Let me
give you my honest
opinion."
Client: "No, no. I'm paying for professional a... More ›› 6 - How many lawyers does it take to grease a
combine?
Only one if you run him through slowly!... More ›› 7 - What's the
difference between a lawyer and
an onion?
You cry when you cut up an onion.... More ›› 8 - A defendant was
on trial for murder. There
was very strong evidence indicating guilt,
but no c... More ›› 9 - A local United Way office realized that it had
never
received a donation from the town's most suc... More ›› 10 - A
judge in a small city was hearing a
drunk-driving case and the
defendant, who had both a rec... More ›› 11 - The bartender asks him
"What'll you have?".
The guy answers,
"A scotch, please". The bartender... More ›› 12 - It seems that a devout, good couple was about
to get married,
but a tragic car accident ended t... More ›› 13 - An old man was critically
ill. Feeling that
death was near, he
called his lawyer. "I want to b... More ›› 14 - At a
convention of biological scientists
one researcher remarks to another:
"Did you know that... More ›› 15 - A Frenchman, an Englishman, an American man,
and a
lawyer were sitting on a train.
The Frenc... More ›› 16 - A person is in the hospital and asked his
doctor how much time does
he
have left to live. The... More ›› 17 - A
persistent job-seeker once appeared
before President Lincoln and demanded
an appointment to... More ›› 18 - A man walks into a friend and sees that his
friend's car
is total loss and covered with leaves,... More ›› 19 - A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the
headlights
broken and considerable damage. There's... More ›› 20 - In the construction
field, it is often
noted that lawyers make the worst clients. However,
a c... More ›› 21 - "Excuse me," a young fellow said to
an
older librarian, "I've just moved here and I wonder if th... More ›› 22 - The first lawyer questioning a panel of
prospective jurors began right off as an intimidating sh... More ›› 23 - A doctor was vacationing at the seashore with
his family. Suddenly,
he spotted a fin sticking up... More ›› 24 - "How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to
her lawyer, after he had solved her legal troubles... More ›› 25 - Why is
it that if you give a child an
encyclopedia, "lawyer" is always the
third thing they lo... More ›› 26 - "You seem to have more than the average
share of intelligence for a man of
your background," sn... More ›› 27 - Have you seen the current remake of the movie
"Cape Fear"? It's about a deranged psychotic who i... More ›› 28 - Lawyer: "Now that you have been acquitted,
will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?"
Cl... More ›› 29 - Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to
walk
onto a construction site when plumbers are working?... More ›› 30 - You're trapped in a room with a tiger,
a
rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bulle... More ›› 31 - Did you hear that the Post Office had to
recall its series of stamps depicting famous lawyers? P... More ›› 32 - A lawyer with insomnia consulted her doctor.
"Which side is it best to lie on?" she asked.
"The... More ›› 33 - A lawyer with insomnia consulted
her doctor.
"Which side is it best to lie on?" she asked.
"The... More ›› 34 - If you laid all the lawyers in the world head
to foot around the Equator, then...
Hey, come to... More ›› 35 - What's the difference between a lawyer
and
a
trampoline?
You should take your workboots off... More ›› 36 - If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both
drowning, and
you could only save one of them, would you... More ›› 37 - Why is it that New Jersey got all the toxic
waste dumps and California got all the lawyers?
New... More ›› 38 - First person: Do you know how to
save five
lawyers who are drowning?
Second person: No.
First... More ›› 39 - Why don't lawyers enjoy playing
golf?
Because it's too much like work, what with all of the lying... More ›› 40 - If two lawyers were drowning,
and you could
only save one of
them, would you read the paper or... More ›› 41 - How many lawyers does it take to
change a
lightbulb?
None, they'd rather keep their clients in... More ›› 42 - Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why
don't you swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicyc... More ›› 43 - What is the proper weight for a
lawyer?
About 3 pounds, .......not counting the urn!... More ›› 44 - If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, how
many orchards does it
take for a lawyer?... More ›› 45 - Q. Why is it that many lawyers have
broken
noses?
A. From chasing parked ambulances.... More ›› 46 - Changing lawyers is like moving to a different
deck chair on the Titantic.... More ›› 47 - If I had but one life to give for my country,
it
would be a lawyer's.... More ›› 48 - Why don't lawyers play
hide-and-seek?
Nobody will look for them.... More ›› 49 - How many lawyers does it take
to stop a
moving bus?
Never enough.... More ›› 50 - How can you tell a lawyer is lying?
Other
lawyers look interested.... More ›› 51 - What is black and brown and looks
good on a
lawyer? A Doberman.... More ›› 52 - Where is the best place to hide a lawyer?
In
a brief case.... More ›› 53 - How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
Cut
the rope.... More ›› 54 - What do lawyers do after they die?
They lie
still.... More ›› 55 - What do you call an honest lawyer?
An
oxymoron.... More ›› 56 - What kind of clothes do lawyers
wear?
Lawsuits.... More ›› |
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