1 - A man took his dog to the vets and asked the vet to
completely remove the dogs tail. The vet con... More ›› 2 - Four workers
were discussing how smart their
dogs were. The first was an engineer
who said his... More ›› 3 - Upon
entering the little country store, the
stranger noticed a sign saying;
DANGER! BEWARE OF... More ›› 4 - What should you do if you have a basset hound over
for
dinner?
Have a short table!... More ›› 5 - What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals ?
A
guard dog !... More ›› 6 - What dog is always tired in London?
An English
sleep dog.... More ›› 7 - A local business was
looking for office help.
They put a sign in the window, stating the
follo... More ›› 8 - A man is
walking down the street when he hears
a voice, "Pssst you come over
here!" He looks r... More ›› 9 - A man took his Rottweiler to the
vet and said
to him, "My dogs cross-eyed. Is there anything you... More ›› 10 - What did the elephant say when it saw the
Chihuahuas coming down the road?
Look out for the mi... More ›› 11 - Why did the dog go to the doctor after a tomato
fell on
his head?
The tomato was in a can.... More ›› 12 - Why do you need a licence for a dog and not for
a cat ?
Cats can't drive !... More ›› 13 - What is the
best way to follow a lost dog's
paw prints?
With a track-tor!... More ›› 14 - Which dog is always without
a tail?
A hot
dog.... More ›› 15 - A man and his dog went into a pub. The barman said
"Sorry mate no
dogs allowed in here!" The dog... More ›› 16 - Paul got off
the elevator on the 40th floor
and nervously knocked on his blind
date's door. Sh... More ›› 17 - Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by
boat and one says to
the other, "I hear
that... More ›› 18 - A man was very proud of his guard
dog, he would
leave it to roam free in the garden to sow the w... More ›› 19 - A man and his son were
shovelling the driveway
after a heavy snowfall when their dog, Lady, wand... More ›› 20 - The front door
was accidentally left open and
our dog was gone. After unsuccessfully
whistling... More ›› 21 - A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed
three men and a dog playing cards. The dog was ex... More ›› 22 - Two women, who are dog owners,
are arguing
which dog is smarter.
First woman: My dog is so smar... More ›› 23 - Every time I tell my English Setter to stop
barking, it
never does!
What does it do?
It just... More ›› 24 - A hound dog and a dalmation were sitting in an
Internet cafe and the
dalmation said to the houn... More ›› 25 - I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay.
It's fun
to call him...
"Come here, Stay! Co... More ›› 26 - A Chihuahua was shopping in a mall when another
shopper
walked up to it and started talking.
D... More ›› 27 - What artistic dog
chews a lot and follows the
rules of the farm where it lives?
A Chihuahua th... More ›› 28 - Why does the Hound of the
Baskervilles turn
round and round before he lies down for the night?... More ›› 29 - What do you
get if you cross a labrador and a
tortoise ?
A dog that will run to the shop to get... More ›› 30 - My dog is great at math.
Really ?
Ask him
how much is two minus two.
But two minus two is no... More ›› 31 - Why did the dog's owner think his dog
was a
great mathematician?
When he asked the dog what six... More ›› 32 - What is brown
and gray, has eight legs, and is
carrying a large trunk and a small
trunk?
A C... More ›› 33 - Why did the dog sleep so poorly?
By mistake he
plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and... More ›› 34 - When George Washington was a general, why did he
like to have dogs around?
They were very help... More ›› 35 - What did the angry man sing
when he found his
slippers chewed up by the new puppy ?
"I must thr... More ›› 36 - Alsation: How come
you are always so well
behaved when you go on a walk with your master?
Chih... More ›› 37 - What is the difference between Father Christmas
and
a warm dog ?
Father Christmas wears a whole... More ›› 38 - What is the difference between Father
Christmas and a warm dog ?
Father Christmas wears a whole... More ›› 39 - Small girl: I'd buy that dog, but
his legs
are too short! Clerk: Too short ? Why, all four of th... More ›› 40 - If a beagle can't play a bugle in the marching
band, what's his other favorite instrument to pla... More ›› 41 - How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry
about having soap flakes for breakfast?
He foame... More ›› 42 - How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry
about
having soap flakes for breakfast?
He foame... More ›› 43 - Why did the thoughtful father buy his six children
a dachshund?
He wanted a dog they could all pe... More ›› 44 - How do you make a dog
float?
Take two
scoops of ice cream, a couple of squirts of soda and a sm... More ›› 45 - How do you find your dog if
he's lost in the
woods ?
Put your ear up to a tree and listen for t... More ›› 46 - Why should you never watch a video with a
Chihuahua?
It always plays with the "paws" button on... More ›› 47 - What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog
?
A dog that can lick you from the other side of t... More ›› 48 - When you catch your dog eating a dictionary, what
should you do?
Take the words right out of hi... More ›› 49 - What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller and a
hyena ?
I don't know but I'll join in if it la... More ›› 50 - What is the best kind of dog to ask for
directions?
A Chihuahua, because it knows all the shor... More ›› 51 - What do you get if you cross a dog with a
blind mole ?
A dog that keeps barking up the wrong tr... More ›› 52 - How are you going to pay the Chihuahua who helped
you to set up your computer?
With dog disket... More ›› 53 - What do you get if you cross a dog
with a
kangaroo?
A dog that has somewhere to put its own lea... More ›› 54 - What is the difference between a dog and
a
mailbox?
If you don't know you must lose a lot of ma... More ›› 55 - What is black and white and red all over?
A
Chihuahua in a tuxedo that tripped into a jar of sal... More ›› 56 - Q: How do you get a dog to stop
barking in the
back seat of a car? - A: Put him in the front sea... More ›› 57 - What do you get if you cross
a giraffe with a
dog ?
An animal that barks at low flying aircraft... More ›› 58 - When is the
most likely time that a stray dog
will walk into your house ?
When the door is open... More ›› 59 - What happens to a dog that keeps eating bits off
of the
table ?
He gets splinters in his mouth... More ›› 60 - Why did the dog have a gleam in his
eye?
Someone bumped his elbow while he was brushing his teeth... More ›› 61 - What happened to the dog that fell into a
lens-grinding machine?
He made a spectacle of himself... More ›› 62 - Would you rather have a 300-pound dog chase you or
a tiger?
I'd rather have him chase the tiger... More ›› 63 - Q: Why did the lazy person buy a tall dog? - A: So
that they didn't
have to bend down to pet it.... More ›› 64 - What happened to the
dog that ate nothing but
garlic ?
His bark was much worse than it's bite !... More ›› 65 - What should you know before you teach your
dog
a new trick?
You should know more than your dog.... More ›› 66 - Q: When's the best time to take your doberman
pinscher for a
walk? - A: Anytime he wants to go.... More ›› 67 - What do you get if you cross a dog and a
cheetah ?
A dog that chases cars - and catches them !... More ›› 68 - What do you call a dog with no legs ?
It
doesn't matter what you call him, he still won't come !... More ›› 69 - Why is a dog with a lame leg
like adding 6 and
7s?
He puts down the three and carries the one.... More ›› 70 - Alsation: Was your master playing catch with you?
Chihuahua: No, I was playing throw with her!... More ›› 71 - What do you get if you cross a
computer and a
Rottweiller ?
A computer with a lot of bites !... More ›› 72 - Why do Chihuahuas have such short
necks?
Because their heads are so close to their bodies!... More ›› 73 - What did the dog do with the history
professor?
They got together and talked over old times.... More ›› 74 - Why didn't the dog play
cards on his ocean
cruise?
Because the captain stood on the deck.... More ›› 75 - Why didn't the dog
speak to his foot
?
Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw !... More ›› 76 - What do you
call a litter of young dogs who
have come in from the snow ?
Slush puppies !... More ›› 77 - What is the difference between a barking dog and
an umbrella?
The umbrella can be shut up.... More ›› 78 - Why didn't the dog speak to his foot ?
Because
it's not polite to talk back to your paw !... More ›› 79 - Q: When is a strange dog
most likely to go
into your house? - A: When the door is open.... More ›› 80 - Why do dogs turn around three
times before
lying down?
One good turn deserves another.... More ›› 81 - Why is a dog like a baseball
player?
He
runs for home when he sees the catcher coming.... More ›› 82 - Advertisement: Dog for sale. Really gentle. Eats
anything. Especially fond of children.... More ›› 83 - What did the dog take when he was run down?
The
license number of the car that hit him.... More ›› 84 - What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a
dog?
A hen that lays pooched eggs.... More ›› 85 - Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground? - A:
Because you can't bury them in the sky!... More ›› 86 - What do you call a sheepdog's tail that can tell
tall stories ?
A shaggy dogs tale !... More ›› 87 - Why is a dog like a baseball player?
He runs
for home when he sees the catcher coming.... More ›› 88 - What do you get when you cross a collie with a
trumpet?
A Lassie who plays brassie!... More ›› 89 - What do you get if you
cross a dog and a sheep
?
A sheep that can round itself up !... More ›› 90 - What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a
dog?
A hen that lays pooched eggs.... More ›› 91 - Why doesn't a dog
ever have a nose 12 inches
long?
Because then it would be a foot.... More ›› 92 - What do you get if cross two young dogs with a
pair
of headphones ?
Hush puppies !... More ›› 93 - What looks like a dog, sounds like a dog, eats
like
a dog, but isn't a dog?
A pup.... More ›› 94 - What is the best kind of dog to direct traffic at
a
busy intersection?
A pointer!... More ›› 95 - How do you keep a dog from barking in your
front yard?
Put him in your back yard.... More ›› 96 - Alsation: Why do you like to go on camping
trips?
Chihuahua: I like to "ruff it!... More ›› 97 - When are Pomeranians good at taking photographs?
Only when they snap at something!... More ›› 98 - Q: Why is a dog's nose in the middle of
it's
face? - A: Because it's the scenter.... More ›› 99 - What do you get if you take a really big dog out
for a walk ?
A Great Dane out !... More ›› 100 - What did the dog do when the panhandler
put
the bite on him?
Bit him, naturally.... More ›› 101 - Q: What
happened when the dog went to the flea
circus? - A: It stole the
show!... More ›› 102 - Why is it called a "litter" of
puppies
?
Because they mess up the whole house !... More ›› 103 - What happened when the shaggy dog
swallowed a
teaspoon?
He wasn't able to stir.... More ›› 104 - What should you do if you find an angry 500-pound
dog
in your kitchen?
Eat out.... More ›› 105 - How did the Chihuahua disappear
on the road?
It was using a hide-'n-go-seekle!... More ›› 106 - Why did the poor dog chase his own tail ?
He
was trying to make both ends meet !... More ›› 107 - Why does a d dog scratch himself?
He is the
only one that knows where it itches.... More ›› 108 - Where do you take a Chihuahua that has fallen into
a lake?
To a weterinarian!... More ›› 109 - Why do dogs bury bones in
the ground
?
Because you can't bury them in trees !... More ›› 110 - I just spotted a Chihuahua!
That wasn't very
nice, you shouldn't draw on dogs!... More ›› 111 - How did the dog get into the locked cemetery at
night?
He used a skeleton key.... More ›› 112 - Alsation: I'll see you shortly.
Chihuahua:
Okay, but don't call me "Shortly!"... More ›› 113 - Q: Why did the dog cross the road? - A: Because it
was the chickens day off.... More ›› 114 - Why did the dog wear white sneakers ?
Because
his boots were at the menders !... More ›› 115 - What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a
meal
?
That hit the spots !... More ›› 116 - What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a
jelly ?
The collie wobbles !... More ›› 117 - What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an
Australian dog ?
Dingo Starr !... More ›› 118 - What is worse than a
dog howling at the
moon?
Two dogs howling at the moon.... More ›› 119 - What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a
meal ?
That hit the spots !... More ›› 120 - How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a
monster ?
Terrier-fied !... More ›› 121 - What dog would you want on your American football
team?
A golden receiver!... More ›› 122 - What do you get when you cross a
Doberman with
a bird?
A Doberman fincher!... More ›› 123 - What do you call a dog in jeans and a sweater
?
A plain clothes police dog !... More ›› 124 - What place of business helps dogs who have lost
their tails?
A retail store.... More ›› 125 - Why do dogs wag their
tails ?
"Because no
one else will do it for them !"... More ›› 126 - How many seasons are there in a dogs life
?
Just one, the moulting season !... More ›› 127 - Why did the dog mistake the dog catcher for
a
grape?
He was colour-blind.... More ›› 128 - Why did the 3-legged dog go back to Dodge City?
To see who shot his "paw."... More ›› 129 - What happened when the dog went to the flea circus
?
He stole the show !... More ›› 130 - What do you call a dog in the middle of a muddy
road ?
A mutt in a rut !... More ›› 131 - What is a dog who crosses the street twice in
an hour?
A double crosser.... More ›› 132 - Why was the mother flea so unhappy?
All her
children had gone to the dogs.... More ›› 133 - Why are Chihuahuas such good bedtime storytellers?
They have short tales!... More ›› 134 - What wears a black, white, and tan coat but has no
hair?
A bald beagle!... More ›› 135 - Q: What has got four legs and an arm?
- A: A
Rottweiler in a playground.... More ›› 136 - What is black and white and red all over?
A
Dalmatian with a bad sunburn.... More ›› 137 - What is the only breed of dog a boxer is afraid
of?
A Doberman puncher!... More ›› 138 - What kind of dog can you best see in the
dark?
A glowberman pinscher!... More ›› 139 - How do
you feel if you cross a sheepdog with a
melon ?
Melon-collie !... More ›› 140 - Why is it hard for Chihuahuas to type on a
keyboard?
They're all paws.... More ›› 141 - Which dog eats with its tail?
All dogs keep
their tails on when eating.... More ›› 142 - Alsation: How did you find the fleas?
Beagle:
I didn't! They found me!... More ›› 143 - Q.Why is a dog scared of a fire?
A.It doesn't
want to become a hot dog.... More ›› 144 - Q:
Why does a dog wag it's tail? - A: No one
else will do it for them... More ›› 145 - What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a
rose?
A collie-flower !... More ›› 146 - Where do you usually find dogs?
It all depends
on where you lose them.... More ›› 147 - Dad, I spotted a Dalmatian!
No need to, it
already has its own spots!... More ›› 148 - How many hairs are in a dog's tail?
None. They
are all on the outside.... More ›› 149 - Q. What did the dog say when he sat on
sand
paper?
A. "Rough rough".... More ›› 150 - What did the dog get when he multiplied 497 by
684?
The wrong answer.... More ›› 151 - What should you do if you see a vicious
dog?
Hope he doesn't see you.... More ›› 152 - Why did the dog run in circles?
He was a
watchdog and needed winding.... More ›› 153 - What has eighteen legs and fetches a ball?
The
Philadelphia Beagles!... More ›› 154 - What do you get when you cross a sled dog with an
elephant?
A tusky!... More ›› 155 - What dog do other dogs tell their problems to?
A complaint Bernard!... More ›› 156 - What dog sweats the most and drinks the most
water?
A hot-weiler!... More ›› 157 - What did the cowboy say when the bear ate
Lassie?
"Well, doggone !"... More ›› 158 - What do you get if you cross a dog with Concorde
?
A jet setter !... More ›› 159 - Why do dogs
run in circles ?
Because its
hard to run in squares !... More ›› 160 - What game do 18 dogs like to
play during the
summer?
Woofleball... More ›› 161 - What was the dog doing on the turnpike?
About
seven miles an hour.... More ›› 162 - What dogs are best for sending telegrams ?
Wire
haired terriers !!... More ›› 163 - What dog wears a white coat and does science
experiments?
Labs!... More ›› 164 - What kind of dog doesn't do well in hot weather?
A faint Bernard!... More ›› 165 - Why did the dog jump into the sea?
He wanted to
chase the catfish!... More ›› 166 - Q: How did bulldogs get such flat
noses? - A:
From chasing cars.... More ›› 167 - Q: What goes "krab, krab, krab"? - A: A dog
barking in a
mirror.... More ›› 168 - Where did the dog breeder keep his savings ? In
bark-lays
bank !... More ›› 169 - What is a dog's favourite food ?
Anything that
is on your plate !... More ›› 170 - What is taller when it sits down than
when it
stands up?
A dog.... More ›› 171 - Alsation: What is your
favorite holiday?
Chihuahua: Howloween!... More ›› 172 - Q:
What do you say to a dog before he eats? -
A: Bone appetite!... More ›› 173 - Q: What did the puppy say when he sat on sand
paper? - A:
RUFF!... More ›› 174 - How can you tell a dog from an elephant?
The
elephant remembers.... More ›› 175 - What kind of leash should you buy for a Chihuahua?
A short one!... More ›› 176 - What dog do other dogs go to when they
are
sick?
A docs-hund!... More ›› 177 - What kind of dog sounds
like you can eat it
?
A sausage dog !... More ›› 178 - What kind
of pants do you buy for your pet
Chihuahua?
Shorts!... More ›› 179 - When does a dog go "moo" ?
When it is learning
a new language !... More ›› 180 - How did the dog feel when he lost his
flashlight?
Delighted.... More ›› 181 - What did the dog say when he chased his
tail?
This is the end.... More ›› 182 - When is a black dog not a black dog ?
When
it's a greyhound !... More ›› 183 - Why did the dog say he was an
actor?
His
leg was in a cast.... More ›› 184 - Why can't Chihuahuas run marathons?
They're
short of breath!... More ›› 185 - What do you do when a Chihuahua sneezes?
Get a
small hankie!... More ›› 186 - Q: What kind of dog does a dracula like? - A: A
Bloodhound.... More ›› 187 - What would you call a nine day old dog in
Russia?
A puppy.... More ›› 188 - Why is a dog so
warm in Summer?
He wears a
coat and pants.... More ›› 189 - Where will a springer spaniel never shop?
At a
flea market!... More ›› 190 - How can if
you have a stupid dog ?
It
chases parked cars !... More ›› 191 - What do dogs have that
no other animal has
?
Puppy dogs !... More ›› 192 - What is a dogs favourite flower ?
Anything in
your garden !... More ›› 193 - Q: What side of the dog has the most fur? - A: The
Outside.... More ›› 194 - What do you call a nutty dog in Australia ?
A
dingo-ling !... More ›› 195 - What kind of meat do you give a stupid dog
?
Chump chops !... More ›› 196 - What does a Chihuahua play basketball with?
A
tennis ball!... More ›› 197 - What is a collie puppy's favorite toy?
A
chew-chew train!... More ›› 198 - How can you make a basset hound fast?
Take
away its food!... More ›› 199 - How do you stop a dog smelling ?
Put a peg on
it's nose !... More ›› 200 - What kind of dog is a person's best friend?
A
palmatian!... More ›› 201 - What kind of dog always needs a shave?
A
bearded collie!... More ›› 202 - What dog always gets on everyone's nerves?
A
great pane!... More ›› 203 - Q: What's got four legs and no ears?
A: Mike
Tyson's dog.... More ›› 204 - What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear ?
A
petticoat !... More ›› 205 - Where do Eskimos train
their dogs ?
In the
mush room !... More ›› 206 - How can you tell a dog from a tomato?
The
tomato is red.... More ›› 207 - What dog
is a cousin to the Dalmatian?
A
spot-weiler!... More ›› 208 - What kind of computers do chihuahuas like
best?
Lap-top!... More ›› 209 - What is a Chihuahua's
favorite sport?
Miniature golf!... More ›› 210 - What kind of dog is the most colorful?
A paint
Bernard!... More ›› 211 - What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers ?
A bud
hound !... More ›› 212 - How did the dog make anti-freeze?
He stole her
blanket.... More ›› 213 - What is a dog's favourite sport ?
Formula 1
drooling !... More ›› 214 - What dog rides a horse named Macaroni?
Yankee
poodle!... More ›› 215 - What kind of dog chases anything
red ?
A
bull dog !... More ›› 216 - How did the dog make gold soup?
He put in 24
carrots.... More ›› 217 - What did the dog say to the pig?
You are just a
bore.... More ›› 218 - Which dog looks like a cat?
A police dog in
disguise.... More ›› 219 - What do you call a black Eskimo dog ?
A dusky
husky !... More ›› 220 - What dog wears contact lenses ?
A cock-eyed
spaniel !... More ›› 221 - What is your dog's favorite breakfast?
Pooched eggs!... More ›› 222 - Who is the dogs favourite comedian ?
Growlcho
Marx !... More ›› 223 - What has 2,000 eyes and 4,000 feet?
A thousand
dogs.... More ›› 224 - What dog takes the money and runs fast!
A
payhound!... More ›› 225 - What do you call a happy Lassie ?
A jolly
collie !... More ›› 226 - What did the dog use to
make his
kite?
Flypaper.... More ›› 227 - What did the dog use to make his
kite?
Flypaper.... More ›› 228 - What kind of modeling clay does a dog use?
Fi-Do!... More ›› 229 - What's a dog favourite hobby ?
Collecting
fleas !... More ›› 230 - What kind of dog is the smartest?
A great
brain!... More ›› 231 - What is the dogs
favourite city ?
New
Yorkie !... More ›› 232 - What do you call a boring
dog?
A
dull-mation!... More ›› 233 - What is a baseball dog?
One that chases
fowls.... More ›› 234 - Which dog tastes better when eaten?
A hot
dog.... More ›› 235 - What kind of dog can tell time?
A
clockshund!... More ›› 236 - What do you call an alcoholic dog ?
A whino
!... More ›› 237 - When is a dog most impolite?
When he points.... More ›› 238 - What dogs never get lost?
Newfound-lands!... More ›› 239 - Which dog can tell time?
A watchdog.... More ›› |
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