1 - A gorilla was
walking through the jungle
when he came across a deer eating grass in a
clearing... More ›› 2 - A man walks outside to his car for work, when
he
notices a gorilla in his tree. He rushs to his... More ›› 3 - When the
lumberjacks sawed down the tree,
where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost
branch... More ›› 4 - What would happen if you crossed Magilla
Gorilla with a Saint Bernard?
It would drink the brand... More ›› 5 - What did Mrs Revere say when Paul got on a
gorilla to warn the farmers that the British were com... More ›› 6 - Why did both Germany and the U.S
want to
hire Apes during World War Two?
Because they are excel... More ›› 7 - What happens if you cross
a parrot with a
Gorilla?
Nobody is sure, but if it opened its mouth t... More ›› 8 - How did the obscene telephone caller get
attacked by the Gorilla?
He made a mistake and dialled... More ›› 9 - Who is the Gorillas' favourite
playwright?
Eugene O'Neill - who wrote 'The Hairy Ape!'... More ›› 10 - What did George Washington have to do with
Gorillas?
As little as possible, dummy!... More ›› 11 - Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A:
They have big fingers.... More ›› 12 - How does a Gorilla become another
animal?
When a Mafia don hires a 'big Gorilla' to be his bodygu... More ›› 13 - What did the great Ape
shout to the pilots
who tried to shoot him off the skyscraper?
Listen, h... More ›› 14 - Why did the
girl Gorilla, engaged to the
invisible man, call off the wedding?
Because in the la... More ›› 15 - Why do waiters
like Gorillas better than
flies?
Did you ever hear a customer complain 'Waiter,... More ›› 16 - Which city holds the record for the most
suicides
committed by a Gorilla jumping off a tall
bu... More ›› 17 - How did a Gorilla come to be with Washington
at Valley Forge?
He had seen a sign saying, 'Uncle... More ›› 18 - What's black, brown and white, black, brown
and white, brown and
white, etc.?
A Gorilla riding... More ›› 19 - When did the Gorillas start to picket
the
cookie factory?
The day they started to manufacture a... More ›› 20 - Q. Why did the ape run around with a piece
of raw meat on his head?
A. He thought he was a gori... More ›› 21 - What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a
pretty
girl?
I can't help it - she brings out the... More ›› 22 - What did the great Ape say as he plummeted
from the
skyscraper?
Listen baby, I think I'm fallin... More ›› 23 - Why do Apes
love to go to school in bad
neighbourhoods?
They like any jungle - even a blackboar... More ›› 24 - How do you stop a
thundering herd of
Apes?
Hold up your arm and say 'Go back, you didn't say 'M... More ›› 25 - Why should you always refuse to lend an Ape
money?
It's dangerous to let him put the bite on yo... More ›› 26 - How do you make a Gorilla float?
Two scoops
of ice cream, some club soda and a very tasty Gorilla... More ›› 27 - If you put 30 female Apes and 30 male Apes in
a bedroom, what do you
have?
A very large bedroom... More ›› 28 - Why couldn't the Gorilla pitcher
make it
in the major leagues?
His balk was worse than his bite... More ›› 29 - Why did the
actor fire his Gorilla
agent?
The big Ape kept wanting to take more than a 10% bite... More ›› 30 - Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from
another
animal when it gets romantic?
The bear hug!... More ›› 31 - Q. Why does Rilla get mad when he's in a
race?
A. Because all his friends shout, "GO-RILLA!"... More ›› 32 - Why did the Gorilla visit Italy?
An
advertisement's headline enticed him - See Ape-les and die!... More ›› 33 - Why do the Gorillas
like Jimmy
Carter?
They don't really know - but they're NUTS about him!... More ›› 34 - Why did the Ape jump off the building?
He
wanted to show the world the stuff he was made of!... More ›› 35 - What happened when the Ape won
the door
prize?
He didn't take it - he already had a door!... More ›› 36 - How do we know that Apes are
like fish
after a rainstorm?
They'll both bite at anything!... More ›› 37 - What happens if you cross an Ape with an
octopus?
You get a fur coat with lots of sleeves!... More ›› 38 - Why do primates do so
well in show
biz?
Put any Ape in the spotlight - and monkeyshines!... More ›› 39 - How did the dog warn its master that a
Gorilla was approaching?
He barked g-r-r-r-illa!... More ›› 40 - Q: What do you get when you put an
experimental monkey in a blender?
A: Rhesus Pieces.... More ›› 41 - How come the giant Ape climbed up
the side
of the skyscraper?
The elevator was broken!... More ›› 42 - Which author do the Gorillas love
most?
Joh Steinbeck - who wrote 'The Apes of Wrath!'... More ›› 43 - How do you prepare a Gorilla
sundae?
Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!... More ›› 44 - Why do Apes like tall buildings?
They want
to climb the heights of the business world!... More ›› 45 - If George
Raft's wife gave birth to twin
Gorillas, would they be the Apes of
Raft?... More ›› 46 - Q: What's black and dangerous and lives in a
tree?
A: A gorilla with a machine gun.... More ›› 47 - If you throw a great Ape into one of the Great
Lakes, what will it become?
Wet!... More ›› 48 - Which wrestler do the Gorillas admire
most?
Gorilla Monsoon - he knows the ropes!... More ›› 49 - What did the Gorilla do when he saw the sign,
'Clean
Washroom'?
He cleaned it!... More ›› 50 - Why did the
Gorilla enlist in the ragged
continental army?
To avoid the draft!... More ›› 51 - How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty
contest?
She was the beast of the show!... More ›› 52 - How did Gertie Gorilla make the 'Playboy'
Calendar?
She was 'Miss Ape-ril!'... More ›› 53 - What happens when you throw
one banana to
two hungry Apes?
A banana split!... More ›› 54 - Why do apes climb to the tops of
buildings?
The elevator men are on strike!... More ›› 55 - Which is the favourite Gorilla proverb?
A
fiend in need is a fiend indeed!... More ›› 56 - Who is the Gorillas' favourite President of
recent years?
Hairy Truman!... More ›› 57 - Q: Why did the gorilla fall out of
the tree
?
A: Because it was dead.... More ›› 58 - Do you know a
favourite expression used by
the Gorillas?
Apesy daisy!... More ›› 59 - What's hairy and flies through the
air?
Jonathan Livingstone Gorilla!... More ›› 60 - Where did the
Gorilla play baseball?
In
the bush leagues,of course!... More ›› 61 - How do you make a Gorilla stew?
You keep it
waiting for three hours!... More ›› 62 - What gives a gorilla good taste?
Four years
in an Ivy League school!... More ›› 63 - What's black, hairy, and writes
under
water?
A ball-point gorilla!... More ›› 64 - What political party entices most
Gorillas?
The Treepublican Party!... More ›› 65 - Which two names figure prominently in every
Ape's
diet?
Ben/Anna!... More ›› 66 - What do they feed a gorilla when he goes to
Paris?
Ape Suzettes!... More ›› 67 - How
do you make a Gorilla laugh?
Tell
it an elephant joke!... More ›› 68 - Why are Gorillas underpaid?
They're
willing to work peanuts!... More ›› 69 - Q: Why are gorillas so noisy?
A: They were
raised in a zoo!... More ›› 70 - What did the Gorilla call his first
wife?
His prime-mate!... More ›› 71 - Which operetta make the Gorilla
crack
up?
Nutty Marietta!... More ›› 72 - Which song title makes an Ape
heartsick?
Gorilla My Dreams!... More ›› 73 - Why did the Gorilla fail English?
He had
little Ape-titude!... More ›› 74 - Which drink makes a Gorilla feel tipsy?
An
ape-ricot sour!... More ›› 75 - What does a Gorilla learn first in
school?
The Apey-cees!... More ›› 76 - What do you feed a 600 pound
Gorilla?
Anything it wants!... More ›› 77 - Which book makes prudish Gorillas
blush?
The Naked Ape!... More ›› 78 - What is the Ape monster's name?
Godzilla
Gorilla!... More ›› 79 - Do Apes kiss?
Yes, but never on the first
date!... More ›› |
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