1 - It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was
on
his first assignment, and it was guard duty. A G... More ›› 2 - A warrant officer was crossing a road one-day
when a frog called
out to him and said, "If you ki... More ›› 3 - As the family gathered for a big dinner
together, the
youngest son had an announcement to make:... More ›› 4 - During an army basic training, the lieutenant
took the
batch on a match and asked each of them w... More ›› 5 - Q: how many
vietnam vets does it take to
screw in a lightbulb?
A: YOU DON'T KNOW! YOU WEREN'T T... More ›› 6 - - How many Iraqis does it take to launch a
Scud missile?
- Two. One to launch it, one to watch... More ›› 7 - Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to
train Iraqi fighter pilots?
A: You only have to te... More ›› 8 - Q. "Why does the Navy put
Marines on
board ships?"
A. "Because sheep would be too obvious"... More ›› 9 - Coach Bobby Ross had put together the perfect
Lions team. The only thing he was missing was a go... More ›› 10 - The chief of staff of the US Air
Force
decided that he would personally intervene in the recruit... More ›› 11 - Seems there was a
young soldier, who,
just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn't
hav... More ›› 12 - The General went out to find that none of his
G.I.s were there. One finally ran up, panting heav... More ›› 13 - Sargeant Williams was the newest drill
instructor at AOCS, Aviation
Officer Candidate School and... More ›› 14 - I was an Air Force ICBM launch control
officer in South Dakota. Two officers pulled 24-hour aler... More ›› 15 - The Captain called the Sergeant in.
"Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother die... More ›› 16 - An Army Ranger was on holiday in the depths
of
Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator s... More ›› 17 - You Might be a
Marine Wife if:
1. Your
mail goes to four addresses in two countries before it r... More ›› 18 - A Maintenance
Battalion in Germany had
just received a brand new Executive Officer, an
Armor M... More ›› 19 - A destroyer pulled into a foreign port, and
put down maximum
liberty. The skeleton crew didn't n... More ›› 20 - Airman Jones was assigned
to the
induction center, where he advised new recruits about their
g... More ›› 21 - At Parris Island, a sergeant was teaching a
private to
throw a grenade at a pracitice training c... More ›› 22 - There were three American pilots captured by
Germans in WWII. The
Germans thought up a way to ma... More ›› 23 - One Sunday
morning, the priest noticed
Little Johnny was staring up at the large
plaque that h... More ›› 24 - Father Murphy walked
into a pub and said
to the first Marine he met, "Do you want to go to
hea... More ›› 25 - An airforce officer
goes to heaven and at
the gate St Peter asks him if he has ever done
anyth... More ›› 26 - On some air bases the Air Force is on one
side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other... More ›› 27 - A young naval student
was being put
through the paces by an old sea captain. "What would you
d... More ›› 28 - During camouflage training in Louisiana, a
private disguised as
a tree trunk had made a sudden m... More ›› 29 - A sailor in the Navy who had been at
sea
for a long time was anxious to be reunited with his gir... More ›› 30 - An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked
the
Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.
The CO s... More ›› 31 - A solider stationed in the South Pacific
wrote to his wife in the
States to please send him a ha... More ›› 32 - A patrol of allied soldiers were in a
ruined city during World War Two. They are bragging and jo... More ›› 33 - An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for
departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland. They were... More ›› 34 - The Army Airborne major was used to
harassment from Air Force fliers about crazy Army paratroope... More ›› 35 - During the Mexican American War, an intense
long standoff occurred along the front. For days and... More ›› 36 - Having just moved
into his new office, a
pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk
when a P... More ›› 37 - A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the
shower, and
realized that his clothes were missing. And... More ›› 38 - A trio
of old veterans were bragging
about the heroic exploits of their
ancestors one afternoo... More ›› 39 - While practicing autorotations during a
military night training exercise a Huey Cobra screwed up... More ›› 40 - During a visit to a military medical clinic,
I was sent to the lab to have blood drawn. The tech... More ›› 41 - This Marine drill instructor, completely
frazzled by the ineptitude of his recruits, burst into... More ›› 42 - While practicing
auto-rotations during a
military night training exercise, a Huey Cobra messes... More ›› 43 - Paddy 'n'
Mick join the army, and are
put on street patrol in a city with a
military curfew. T... More ›› 44 - The
cavalryman was galloping down the
road, rushing to catch up with his
regiment. Suddenly hi... More ›› 45 - Following some duty overseas, the officers
at the Fort were planning a welcome home party and da... More ›› 46 - Following some duty overseas, the officers at
the Fort were
planning a welcome home party and da... More ›› 47 - One of my husband's duties as a novice drill
instructor at Fort Jackson, S.C., was to escort new... More ›› 48 - Colin
Powell, once USA's highest ranking
military officer, (now Secretary of
State), loves to... More ›› 49 - A draftee went in for his physical wearing a
truss and with a little convincing acting got his p... More ›› 50 - The officer shouted
orders to a
nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran
directly... More ›› 51 - There was this General-in-training,
and his superioirs
were asking him questions "What happened... More ›› 52 - In the 1970's, before women
were allowed
to sign up for combat duty, a man was bragging to his... More ›› 53 - A general noticed one of his soldiers
behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of pap... More ›› 54 - The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and
Marines
bicker amongst themselves is that they don't sp... More ›› 55 - As he was
drilling a batch of recruits,
the sergeant saw that one of them was
marching out of... More ›› 56 - The story goes that Air Force One was
over the UK a few years ago and called up a USAF base "Req... More ›› 57 - Two men were boasting to each other about
their
old army days.
"Why, my outfit was so well dr... More ›› 58 - The
theatrical manager exclaimed: "Your
last role was magnificent, Mr. Brown.
You enacted so w... More ›› 59 - Airmen had to launch two E-3 AWACS from a
National Guard
base after a heavey snow strom. Well af... More ›› 60 - During training exercises, the lieutenant who
was
driving down a muddy back road encountered ano... More ›› 61 - A drill
sergeant had just chewed out one
of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he
turned... More ›› 62 - -
When the general comes, report to me
immediately. The general doesn't
show. The sergeant get... More ›› 63 - General Heath, a famous lover of
parade
music and marching drill ceremonies, once listened to a... More ›› 64 - During the Vietnam War, a hillbilly
soldier shot about a dozen of the enemy during his first bat... More ›› 65 - We have women
in the military, but they
don't put us in the front lines. They don't
know if we... More ›› 66 - At a lesson in topography a
soldier was
asked: "What is farther away, Harrison, the moon or that... More ›› 67 - The Pentagon once did a study on why so many
American Servicemen marry
women in the countries wh... More ›› 68 - The first
woman recruit in the Army
reported for duty and was told that although her
quarters... More ›› 69 - Q: How many military information officers
does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: At the presen... More ›› 70 - Recruits were shocked at the language the
sergeant used in their unit. During a smoke break one... More ›› 71 - Having passed
the enlistment physical,
Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want
to join t... More ›› 72 - Soldier Ivanov was ordered to peel a
barrel of potatos.
- In this day and age, the army shoul... More ›› 73 - Officer: Soldier, do
you have change for
a dollar?
Soldier: Sure, buddy.
Officer: That's no... More ›› 74 - A
soldier keeps a mug upside down and
tells the sergeant:
- I can't drink from this mug. It h... More ›› 75 - SIX PHASES OF THE MONTH IN NAVY RECRUITING
1. ENTHUSIASM
2. DISILUSIONMENT
3. PANIC... More ›› 76 - Q: How many Pentagon procurement officers
does it take to change a
lightbulb ?
A: Look, for onl... More ›› 77 - Short-sighted sarge: "Attention! You also,
you
little one in the back row with the red cap!"... More ›› 78 - Q. "Why do the commodes in
Marine
barracks have the cut-out type seats?"
A. "So that if the se... More ›› 79 - Two paratrooper
recruits in a
plane:
- Are you crazy, Vasily? You are going to jump without a... More ›› 80 - A recruit examines the food served to him
in the batallion dining room.
- Do I have any choic... More ›› 81 - This is the difference between
a lousy
Golfer and a lousy Parachutist.
The lousy Golfer goes... More ›› 82 - - What do you think about the coming battle,
General?
- God knows it will be lost.
- Then... More ›› 83 - Q: "How many members of the coalition does it
take to screw in a light bulb?"
A: "We are not p... More ›› 84 - - Who likes music? - asks a
commander.
- Two soldiers step forward.
- All right. I bought a... More ›› 85 - A retired sergeant was asked: "Well, how do
you like
civilian life?"
"Terrible," he said gruffl... More ›› 86 - A general calls a colonel:
- Do you
have a couple of smart majors?
- Yes I do.
- Send the... More ›› 87 - Q: How many U.S
marines does it take to
screw in a light bulb ?
A: 50. One to screw in the ligh... More ›› 88 - Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer
have in
common ?
A: They both want to know where... More ›› 89 - -
How many survivors of nuclear war does
it take to screw in a light bulb?
- None. People that... More ›› 90 - A
trooper asks a sergeant:
- Is it
true that man descended from a monkey?
- Yes, troopers... More ›› 91 - Q: How many British navy Officers does it
take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it take... More ›› 92 - - How many Russians does it take to screw in
a light bulb?
- That is a military secret. If I to... More ›› 93 - Why did the
army send so many women with
PMS to the Persian Gulf?
They fought like animals and... More ›› 94 - Q: How many Honor Guards does it take to
screw in a light bulb?
A: 22, one to screw it in, 21 to... More ›› 95 - Q: What's the difference between God and
fighter
pilots?
A: God doesn't think he's a fighter p... More ›› 96 - Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot
and the Scud
Missile ? A: Aeroflot has killed more peo... More ›› 97 - Q: How is Saddam like Fred
Flintstone ?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.... More ›› 98 - Q. What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in
common ?
A. Nothing, yet.... More ›› 99 - Q: "What has
an IQ of 42?"
A: "40
Marines plus their lieutenant"... More ›› 100 - Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving ?
A: Turkey.... More ›› 101 - Q: What is the best Iraqi job ?
A:
Foreign Ambassador... More ›› 102 - What is Iraq's
national bird?
Duck.... More ›› |
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