1 - There were these three
brothers that were
very close to each other. The brothers always went to... More ›› 2 - A seal walks into a bar
and asks the bartender for a drink.
The bartender asks the seal,
"W... More ›› 3 - Sign seen in a bar:
"Those drinking to forget please pay in advance."... More ›› 4 - A small balding man storms
into a local bar and demands, "Gimme a double of the strongest
whis... More ›› 5 - Every night, after dinner, a
man took off for
the local tavern. He spent the whole evening
the... More ›› 6 - A fellow decides to
take
off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes... More ›› 7 - The Lone Ranger and Tonto
walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few... More ›› 8 - A Scotsman is sitting in a
bar in Cuba and is minding his business when a man with a large
bla... More ›› 9 - John was sitting outside his
local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good... More ›› 10 - A good samaritan was walking
home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk.... More ›› 11 - Two
men who are out
walking their dogs meet on a street corner. One says to
the other, "Boy... More ›› 12 - It seems a gentleman had too
much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a... More ›› 13 - John & Jessica were on their
way
home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the
p... More ›› 14 - The local bar was so sure
that its bartender was the
strongest man around that they offered a... More ›› 15 - A man stumbles up to the
only other patron in
a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.... More ›› 16 - A man walks into a bar and
has a couple of beers. Once
he is donem the bartender tells him he... More ›› 17 - The bartender asks the guy
sitting at the bar, "What'll you
have?" The guy answers, "A scotch,... More ›› 18 - There was this little guy sitting
inside a bar, just looking at his drink. After he didn't move... More ›› 19 - A man walks into a bar, and
as he makes his
way to the counter, he stops and talks to everyone... More ›› 20 - A guy comes
walking into
a bar with a turtle in his hand.
The turtle's one eye is black
an... More ›› 21 - One day a drunk walked into
a bar and
ordered a gin and tonic. He drank half of it and poured... More ›› 22 - A man walks into a bar on
the top floor of a
skyscraper. He sits down and orders a beer. After... More ›› 23 - A man walks into a bar and
says, "Bartender, give me two shots."
Bartender says, "You want them... More ›› 24 - A pirate was talking to a
"land-lubber" in a bar. The land-lubber noticed that, like any
sel... More ›› 25 - A Texan walks
into a pub
in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He
says,... More ›› 26 - A Texan walks into a pub in
Ireland and
clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I h... More ›› 27 - A man walks into a Kansas
bar
with his golden retriever. "Hey," says the bartender, "No dogs... More ›› 28 - A guy walks
into a
tavern. As he walked up to the bar he noticed a twelve-inch man
playing
t... More ›› 29 - After the Great Britain Beer
Festival, in London, all the brewery
presidents decided to go out... More ›› 30 - A guy stumbles
through the
front door of a bar, ambles up to the bartender and orders a
beer.... More ›› 31 - A rather attractive woman
goes up to the bar in a
quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to... More ›› 32 - A guy walks into a bar with
a dog under
his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the... More ›› 33 - An armless man walked into a
bar which is empty except for the bartender.
He ordered a
dri... More ›› 34 - A man who smelled like a
distillery flopped on a subway seat
next to a priest. The man's tie
w... More ›› 35 - A herd of buffalo can move
only as fast as the slowest
buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it... More ›› 36 - A
rather confident man
walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very
attractive woman.
He... More ›› 37 - Old man
O'Malley had
worked down at the brewery for years, but one day he just
wasn't
paying... More ›› 38 - A man had
been drinking
at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his
girlfrien... More ›› 39 - A man is in a bar having a
drink. The guy next to him falls off of his barstool. The man picks... More ›› 40 - John Smith lived in
Staten Island, New York and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the
ferr... More ›› 41 - Two guys
were in a bar,
and they were both watching the television when the news
came on.
It... More ›› 42 - The husband was not home at
his usual hour, and the wife was fuming, as the clock ticked later... More ›› 43 - A circus owner
walked
into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little
sho... More ›› 44 - A man had been out in the
back woods for weeks, cutting logs. He was a bit scruffy and didn't... More ›› 45 - A man drinks a shot of
whiskey every
night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him... More ›› 46 - A cop is staking out a bar
for drunk
drivers. At closing time, he sees a guy stumble out of the... More ›› 47 - A man in a bar
sees a
friend at a table, drinking by himself.
Approaching the friend he
comm... More ›› 48 - An angry wife was
complaining
about her husband spending so much time at the pub, so one night... More ›› 49 - Three vampires walk into a
bar and sit down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks the
f... More ›› 50 - One day an Englishman, an
American, and a Canadian walked into a pub together. The proceeded to... More ›› 51 - A man walks into a bar and
asks for
six shots of vodka. The bartender says, "Six shots? What's... More ›› 52 - A Texan bought a round of
drinks for all in the bar and said that his wife had just produced "a... More ›› 53 - A motorway walks
into a
pub one day. He goes up to the bar and orders himself a drink.
He
ju... More ›› 54 - The drunk was
floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into... More ›› 55 - A guy
walked into a bar
and said
"Beers for everyone, even you, Bartender."
But
when it... More ›› 56 - One night, this guy come
into a
bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for
anoth... More ›› 57 - The local District Judge had
given the defendant a lecture on the evils
of drink. But in view of... More ›› 58 - A guy walks into a bar and
orders a beer. He only brought enough money for one beer though.... More ›› 59 - A drunk stammers out of a bar
and runs into two priests. He runs up to them and says, ''I'm
Je... More ›› 60 - A drunk stammers out of a bar and
runs into two priests. He runs up to them and says, ''I'm Jesu... More ›› 61 - The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a
Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a
great-look... More ›› 62 - A man walks in to a bar and
says to the
bartenter " Give me twenty shots of your best singlemalt... More ›› 63 - A Congressman was once asked
about his attitude toward whiskey. "If
you mean the demon drink
t... More ›› 64 - A
man walks into a bar
and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets
it down. While he... More ›› 65 - A drunken man was wondering around the
parking lot of
a bar, bumping into every car and then rub... More ›› 66 - A
serious drunk walked
into a bar and, after staring for some time at the
only woman seated... More ›› 67 - A
cowboy walks in to a
bar and says," I want a beer." So after he drank
his beer he was
abou... More ›› 68 - A Russian walks into a bar
and orders a
beer. "That will be one ruble," says the bartender.
"O... More ›› 69 - A drunk is refused a drink
in a bar, so he
undertakes to prove to the barman that he is sober.... More ›› 70 - McPherson walked
into a
bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the
olives... More ›› 71 - It was Halloween and three
vampires went into a saloon and bellied up to the bar. "What will
y... More ›› 72 - A group of loud and rowdy
drunks were making a racket in the
street. It was the wee small hours... More ›› 73 - Recently scientists revealed
that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove
t... More ›› 74 - A man drinking
at the
bar for three hours, yells at the bartender for another drink.
The
bar... More ›› 75 - Barty and Dunny met in a pub
and discussed the illness
of a friend named Hogan.
"Poor
Mich... More ›› 76 - A man walks
into a bar
and orders a shot then looks into his pocket. he does this
over and
o... More ›› 77 - At the end of the night a
man leaves the bar.
Outside he sees a nun. He walks over to her and... More ›› 78 - "I was married 3 times"
explained the man to a newly discovered drinking partner, "and I'll... More ›› 79 - "Shhaaayyy, buddy, what's a
'Breathalyzer'?" asked one drunk to his friend at the next
barstoo... More ›› 80 - Last New
Year's Eve,
one woman stood up at the local tavern and said that it
was time to
get... More ›› 81 - A man comes in to the room
and
says to his wife, "I'm going to the pub. Get your coat on."
T... More ›› 82 - A regular at Bob's Bar
came in one evening sporting a matched pair of swollen black eyes that... More ›› 83 - Marley stopped at the town
barbershop for a
haircut. After thirty-five minutes of snipping and... More ›› 84 - A man walks into a pub
and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog
bi... More ›› 85 - A guy goes up to this girl
in a bar and
says, "Would you like to dance?"
The girl says, "I
do... More ›› 86 - Yesterday, scientists in the
United States
revealed that beer contains small traces of female... More ›› 87 - Two ladies are in a bar and
the first lady says, "Why are men the same as parking lots".
S... More ›› 88 - A number twelve walks into a
bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.
"Sorry I can't
ser... More ›› 89 - Two cartons of yogurt walk
into a bar. The bartender, who was a tub of cottage cheese, says to... More ›› 90 - A snail goes into a bar and
orders a beer.
The barman says 'Sorry we don't serve
snails' a... More ›› 91 - A brain walks into a bar and
says, "I'll have a pint of beer please."
The barman looks
at h... More ›› 92 - Monahan stumbled
into a
saloon, half crocked. "Say," he said to the bartender, "how tall
is... More ›› 93 - A golf club walks into a
local bar and asks
the barman for a pint of beer.
The barman
refus... More ›› 94 - A neutron walks into a bar.
"I'd like a beer" he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a
bee... More ›› 95 - An Indian,
a Rabbi, the
Pope, an Italian, and an Irishman all walk into a bar
together and
s... More ›› 96 - WARNING: Consumption of
alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small... More ›› 97 - WARNING: consumption of
alcohol may cause you to
roll over in the morning and see something
re... More ›› 98 - "Didja hear the news?"
asked Keenan of his pal at the saloon. "Harrigan drank so much, his wife... More ›› 99 - A guy walks into a bar
carrying a pair of jumper
cables. He sets 'em down on the bar. And then... More ›› 100 - WARNING: consumption of
alcohol may create
the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and
sm... More ›› 101 - WARNING: consumption of
alcohol may
lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you... More ›› 102 - A man walks into a bar with
a piece of
asphalt under his arm and asks the barman "Can I have a... More ›› 103 - Ever hear the
expression
"hard drinker" ? Never made much sense
to me, drinking's one of the... More ›› 104 - Q: What did
the
bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar?
A: Ok
yo... More ›› 105 - Contrary to what people say,
you can indeed drink to relax.
Of course sometimes, you get so
c... More ›› 106 - I walked into a bar the
other day and ordered a double.
The bartender brought out a guy who
l... More ›› 107 - A
hotdog walks into a
bar and orders a beer.
The bartender replies, "Sorry, we don't
serve... More ›› 108 - Remember, an alcoholic & a
drunk are not
the same thing at all.
The alcoholic has to attend
m... More ›› 109 - WARNING: consumption of
alcohol is the leading cause of pregnancy in the
world. Proceed with
c... More ›› 110 - WARNING: consumption of
alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.... More ›› 111 - Two men
walked into a
bar.
You would think at least one of them would have ducked.... More ›› 112 - WARNING: consumption of
alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.... More ›› 113 - WARNING: consumption of
alcohol may
lead you to believe you are invisible.... More ›› 114 - Twenty-four hours in a
day... twenty-four
beers in a case... coincidence?... More ›› 115 - What happened when the
barman died?
The police held an inn-quest... More ›› 116 - A
Skeleton walks into a
bar, asks for a beer... and a mop.... More ›› 117 - How do
barmen surf the
web?
On the Gin-ternet.... More ›› 118 - Where do Martians drink beer
?
At a mars bar !... More ›› |
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