1 - Customer: I didn't
order this.
Waiter:
I know, but your meal tastes worse.... More ›› 2 - A waiter brings the
customer the steak he
ordered with his thumb over the meat.
"Are you crazy?... More ›› 3 - Waiter: "Tea or coffee, gentlemen?"
1st
customer: "I'll have tea."
2nd customer: "Me, too - and... More ›› 4 - "Waiter!" shouted the furious diner, "How dare
you serve me this!
There's a damn TWIG in my soup... More ›› 5 - Patron: Didn't you tell me the chef here
cooked for the late heads of Europe?
Waiter: Yes, and... More ›› 6 - Diner:
Waitress, the portions are getting
smaller.
Waiter: It's just an optical illusion. It's... More ›› 7 - Diner: Waiter, please
close the
window.
Waiter: Why, is there a draft?
Diner: Yes, it's blown... More ›› 8 - Waiter, I can't eat this
meat, it's
crawling with maggots !
Quick, run to the other end of the... More ›› 9 - Waiter, Waiter there's a fly in
my
ice-cream !
Gee I did not know that they had started winter... More ›› 10 - Customer: I thought the
meals here were
supposed to be like mother used to make.
Waiter: They a... More ›› 11 - Waiter: If you know the
food here is so
lousy, why do you keep coming back?
Customer: It remind... More ›› 12 - Customer: Waiter, I found a hair in
my
turtle soup.
Waiter: How about that! The turtle and the... More ›› 13 - Waiter, I'd like a cup of coffee,
please,
with no cream.
I'm sorry, sir, but we're out of cream... More ›› 14 - Waiter, there is a bee in my
alphabet soup
!
Yes sir, and I'm sure there is an A, C and all the... More ›› 15 - Waiter, waiter!
There's a spider in my
soup. Send for the manager! It's no good, sir,
he's fri... More ›› 16 - Waiter: These are the best eggs we've had for
years.
Diner: Well, bring me some you haven't had a... More ›› 17 - Customer: This fish
isn't as good as what
I ordered here last month.
Waiter: That's funny. It's... More ›› 18 - Customer: Waiter, I
can't eat this
meal.
Waiter: Why not? It looks all right to me.
Customer:... More ›› 19 - Q: How many Waiters does it
take to change
a light bulb?
A: None, even a burned out bulb can't... More ›› 20 - Why do waiters prefer
elephants to flies?
Have you ever heard anyone complaining of a elephant... More ›› 21 - Customer: Waiter, look at this chicken! It's
nothing but skin and
bones.
Waiter: Would you like... More ›› 22 - Diner: May I please have a glass of
water?
Waiter: Why, are you thirsty?
Diner: No, I want to se... More ›› 23 - Waiter,
waiter, this lobster's only got
one claw.
It must have been in a fight, sir.
Then br... More ›› 24 - Customer: Why don't you eat here,
waiter?
Waiter: Serving it is bad enough, I don't want to compo... More ›› 25 - Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Surely
not, sir. It must be one of those vitamin bees you hear... More ›› 26 - Waiter, waiter! What's this creepy crawly
thing doing in my dinner?
Oh, that one ? he comes her... More ›› 27 - Waiter, I can't seem to
find any oysters
in this oyster soup.
Would you expect to find angels i... More ›› 28 - Customer: How come the Board of Health hasn't
come in and closed you up?
Waiter: They're afraid... More ›› 29 - Waiter, can you get rid of this fly in my
starter !
I can't do that sir, he's not had his main... More ›› 30 - Customer: Why doesn't this
restaurant have
any specials?
Waiter: Because nothing about this foo... More ›› 31 - Customer: How long must I wait
for that
turtle soup I ordered?
Waiter: Well, you know how slow... More ›› 32 - Customer: That crust on
the apple pie was
too tough.
Waiter: That wasn't the crust, that was th... More ›› 33 - Customer: Waiter, there's a button in my
salad.
Waiter: It must have come off while the salad w... More ›› 34 - Customer: Why doesn't your menu list
prices?
Waiter: We didn't want to make you sick before the f... More ›› 35 - Waiter: I'm sorry
I spilled a glass of
water on you.
Diner: That's all right. My suit is too la... More ›› 36 - And how did you find your steak sir?
Well,
quite accidentally. I moved this tomato slice and ther... More ›› 37 - How
many waiters does it take to change a
light bulb?
None, a burned out bulb can't catch a wai... More ›› 38 - Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my
soup!
Then we've served you too much soup, the fly should be... More ›› 39 - Waiter,
there is a fly in my soup !
Yes
sir, thats the manager, the last customer was a witch d... More ›› 40 - Waiter, what's this bug
doing waltzing
around my table !
It's the band, sir, they are playing h... More ›› 41 - Waiter, waiter! There's a mosquito in my
soup.
Don't worry sir, mosquitoes have very small app... More ›› 42 - Waiter: I'm
sorry to keep you waiting.
Your soup will be ready soon.
Customer: What bait are yo... More ›› 43 - Waiter, there is a fly in my bean soup
!
Don't worry sir I'll fish him out and exchange it for a... More ›› 44 - Sir you
haven't touched your
custard.
I'm just waiting for the fly to stop using it as a trampo... More ›› 45 - Waiter: Why are you taking so long
to
order?
Diner: I can't decide whether I want heartburn or... More ›› 46 - Waiter, there is a
fly in my soup!
Sorry
sir, maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other... More ›› 47 - Diner: Could I have a glass
of
water?
Waiter: To drink?
Diner: No, I want to rinse out a few t... More ›› 48 - Customer: There's something wrong with my hot
dogs.
Waiter: Sorry, I'm a waiter, not a veterina... More ›› 49 - Waiter,
waiter, do you have frog's
legs?
Certainly, Sir!
Well hop over here and get me a sandw... More ›› 50 - Patron: How come
this fly is swimming in my
soup?
Waiter: I gave you too much. It should be wad... More ›› 51 - Waiter, waiter!
There's a dead spider in
my soup.
Yes, ma'am, they can't stand the boiling wat... More ›› 52 - I say waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Well throw him a doughnut - they make fantastic life bel... More ›› 53 - "Waiter, waiter,there's a hand in my
soup."
"That's not your soup, sir, that's your finger bow... More ›› 54 - Waiter: Why didn't you make all the food on
that long order?
Cook: Because I'm a short order co... More ›› 55 - Waiter, there's a
fly in my
soup!
Couldn't be, sir. The cook used them all in the raisin
brea... More ›› 56 - Waiter, there is a
dead fly in my soup
!
No its not, it's a piece of dirt that looks like one !... More ›› 57 - Waiter (serving soup): It looks like rain
today.
Patron: Yes it does, but it smells like soup.... More ›› 58 - Waiter, there is a cockroach on my
steak
!
They don't seem to care what they eat do they sir !... More ›› 59 - Waiter, there is a
spider drowning in my
soup !
It hardly looks deep enough to drown in sir !... More ›› 60 - Waiter, what is this creepy-crawly doing in my
salad?
Not him again, he's in here every night !... More ›› 61 - Waiter, this coffee
tastes like
dirt!
Yes sir, thats because it was only ground this morning.... More ›› 62 - Waiter, there's a fly in my
soup!
Don't worry sir, the spider on the breadroll will get 'em.... More ›› 63 - Waiter, what is this stuff?
That's bean
salad sir.
I know what it's been, but what is it now?... More ›› 64 - Waiter, there
is a frog in my soup
!
Don't worry sir there isn't enough there to drown him !... More ›› 65 - Waiter! Waiter! This salad is
frozen
solid.
Yes, sir. It's the iceberg lettuce that does it.... More ›› 66 - Customer: Do you have
bacon and eggs on the
menu:
Waiter: No, we clean our menus regularly.... More ›› 67 - Waiter, there is a fly in my wine !
Well you
did ask for something with a little body in it!... More ›› 68 - Diner: What's wrong with these eggs I
ordered?
Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.... More ›› 69 - Waiter, are there
snails on the menu
!
Yes sir, they must have escaped from the kitchen !... More ›› 70 - Waiter,
waiter! There's a wasp in my
dessert.
So that's where they go to in the winter.... More ›› 71 - Customer: What is this fly
doing in my
alphabet soup?
Waiter: Probably learning to read.... More ›› 72 - Waiter,
there's a fly in my soup!
No
sir, that's a cockroach, the fly is on your steak.... More ›› 73 - Customer:
Waiter, this food is repeating on
me.
Waiter: Good, we love repeat business.... More ›› 74 - Patron: Hey, there's a fly in my
soup!
Waiter: Why are you complaining? Isn't it cooked?... More ›› 75 - Waiter, there is
a maggot in my soup
!
Don't worry sir, he won't last long in there !... More ›› 76 - Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my
soup!
Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot!... More ›› 77 - Waiter, there's a fly in my
soup!
Force
of habit, sir. Our chef used to be a tailor.... More ›› 78 - Customer: Why is this
sandwich half eaten?
Waiter: I didn't have time to finish it.... More ›› 79 - Diner: Why are the
waiters in here so
nasty?
Waiter: Look at who they have to serve.... More ›› 80 - Patron: Waiter, why is there a spider
in my
glass?
Waiter: It scares away the flies.... More ›› 81 - Waiter,
there's a fly in my soup!
Keep
it down sir, or they'll all be wanting one.... More ›› 82 - Waiter, there's a fly in my
soup !
Yes,
it's the rotting meat that attracts them !... More ›› 83 - Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!
Yes
sir, it's the hot water that kills them.... More ›› 84 - Customer: Why don't you have doggie
bags?
Waiter: That would be cruelty to animals.... More ›› 85 - Waiter, there is a fly in my soup!
I know,
but unfortunately we are out of turtle.... More ›› 86 - Waiter, there is a worm
on my plate
!
That's not a worm sir, it's your sausage ?... More ›› 87 - Waiter, what's this fly doing in my
soup?
Um, looks to me to be backstroke, sir... More ›› 88 - Customer: Why does your sign say
"Fine
Dining"?
Waiter: We can dream, can't we?... More ›› 89 - Customer: Give me a hot dog.
Waiter: With
pleasure.
Customer: No, with mustard.... More ›› 90 - Waiter, there's a dead
fly in my
soup!
What do you expect for $1 - a live one?... More ›› 91 - Waiter, there is a mosquito in my soup
!
Don't worry sir, they don't eat much !... More ›› 92 - Waiter, your tie is in
my soup!
That's
all right, sir, it's not shrinkable.... More ›› 93 - Waiter, my lunch is talking to me !
Well you
did ask for a tongue sandwich !... More ›› 94 - CUSTOMER: How do you make a pig float?
WAITER: Just give him an inner tube.... More ›› 95 - "Waiter !
Have you got frogs' legs ? "
"No, sir, I always walk this way"... More ›› 96 - CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig
shake?
WAITER: Tell him the wolf is coming.... More ›› 97 - Waiter, waiter, there's a bee in my
soup.
Yes Sir, it's the fly's day off.... More ›› 98 - Waiter, what is this cockroach doing on my ice
cream sundae ?
Skiing sir !... More ›› 99 - CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig cooler?
WAITER: Sure, spray him with a hose.... More ›› 100 - Waiter, there is a fly in my soup !
Hold on
sir, I'll get the fly spray !... More ›› 101 - Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Its OK,
Sir, there's no extra charge!... More ›› 102 - Waiter, there's a fly in my custard !
I'll
fetch him a spoon sir !... More ›› 103 - Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter: So laugh, sir.... More ›› 104 - Waiter, what's this fly
doing in my
soup?
It's fly soup sir!... More ›› 105 - Waiter, is there soup on the menu ?
No,
madam I wiped it off !... More ›› 106 - Patron: This bread
is stale.
Waiter: It
wasn't last week.... More ›› 107 - What will a monster eat in a restaurant?
The waiter.... More ›› |
VOTE!
EMBED
