1 - I can't decide whether to buy a
bicycle or a
cow for my farm.
Well, wouldn't you look silly ri... More ›› 2 - If you had a gun and you were being chased by a
bull and a mountain lion, which one would you sh... More ›› 3 - A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows
should be milked.
"Oh, I reckon about the same... More ›› 4 - What is the definition of "moon"?
The past
tense of "moo"!... More ›› 5 - What is a moo hoo for a cow fight?
A cattle
battle!... More ›› 6 - Camper: Look at that bunch of cows.
Farmer: Not
bunch, herd.
Camper: Heard what?
Farmer: Of cow... More ›› 7 - A man climbed over a fence into a
field to pick
some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby.
Say, f... More ›› 8 - Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into
the fence to keep from hitting the cow!
Was... More ›› 9 - Did you hear about the farmer who
lost control
of his tractor in the cow pasture?
No! Did he h... More ›› 10 - Pa's being
chased by a bull!
Well, what
in tarnation do you want me to do about it?
Get me s... More ›› 11 - I've just discovered a method for making wool out
of
milk!
But doesn't that make the cow feel... More ›› 12 - Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to
leave her
calf alone?
She thought children should be seen an... More ›› 13 - Why was he woman arrested on a
cattle ranch
for wearing a silk dress?
She was charged with rust... More ›› 14 - What do cows sing at their friends birthday
parties?
"Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to... More ›› 15 - What did the mooron say when he saw the milk
cartons in the
grass?
"Hey! Look at the cow's nes... More ›› 16 - What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel,
a poodle, and a rooster?
A cockerpoodlemoo!... More ›› 17 - I hear you take milk baths.
That's right.
Why?
I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower!... More ›› 18 - Teacher: Name five things that contain milk.
Pupil: Butter, cheese, ice cream ... and two cows!... More ›› 19 - Why did the farmer fence in the bull?
The
farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!... More ›› 20 - Why did the farmer put his cow on
the
scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed!... More ›› 21 - What did the farmer call the cow that would not
give him any milk ?
An udder failure !... More ›› 22 - What do you call a group of cattle sent into
orbit?
The first herd shot round the world!... More ›› 23 - When a bull wants to listen to a cassette, what
does he
put on his head?
Steer phones!... More ›› 24 - If you crossed two cows with a flock of ducks,
what would
you get?
Milk and quackers!... More ›› 25 - What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the
back
end of the cow?
A tail pail!... More ›› 26 - What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with
tanning
oil?
Pre-tanned leather.... More ›› 27 - What is the golden rule for cows?
Do unto
udders as you would have udders do to you!... More ›› 28 - What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus
?
A cow that can milk itself !... More ›› 29 - That bull you sold
me is a lazy
good-for-nothing!
I told you he was a bum steer!... More ›› 30 - Why did the
farmer put brandy in the cow's
food?
He wanted to raised stewed beef!... More ›› 31 - How did cows feel when the branding iron was
invented?
They were very impressed!... More ›› 32 - What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists
office?
An encownter group.... More ›› 33 - Why wouldn't anyone play with the little
longhorn?
He was too much of a bully!... More ›› 34 - If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what
song
would you get?
"Beeflt!"... More ›› 35 - What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry,
and a
sofa?
A cowch potato!... More ›› 36 - Why did the moron give
the sleepy cow a
hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay!... More ›› 37 - Did you hear about the snobby cow?
She thought
she was a cutlet above the rest!... More ›› 38 - Does running out of a
burning barn make a cow
unusual?
No, only medium rare!... More ›› 39 - That tornado damage your cow barn any?
Dunno.
Haven't found the durn thing yet!... More ›› 40 - If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would
you have ?
Plenty of milk !... More ›› 41 - Why do cows wear bells
around their
necks?
Because their horns don't work.... More ›› 42 - What do cows do when they're introduced?
They
give each other a milk shake!... More ›› 43 - How to you know that cows will be in
heaven?
It's a place of udder delight.... More ›› 44 - What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension
headache?
A bad mood!... More ›› 45 - What would you get if you crossed a cow with a
rabbit?
Hare in your milk!... More ›› 46 - What do cows like to do at amoosement parks?
Ride on the roller cowster.... More ›› 47 - What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the
thresher?
Ground round!... More ›› 48 - Why don't cows ever have any
money?
Because the farmers milk them dry!... More ›› 49 - What is the most
important use for cowhide?
To hold the cow together.... More ›› 50 - What two members of the cow family go everywhere
with you?
Your calves!... More ›› 51 - What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two
longhorns?
A bull pull!... More ›› 52 - What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a
cow
spits?
A cud thud!... More ›› 53 - If you crossed a cow
with a goat, what would
you get?
Half and half!... More ›› 54 - What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing
machine?
Hamburger!... More ›› 55 - What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A
COW-asaki MOO-torcycle!... More ›› 56 - Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle?
It
wants to keep it's Stockholm!... More ›› 57 - What's the best way to make a bull sweat ?
Put him in a tight jumper !... More ›› 58 - Cow: Why don't you shoo those flies?
Bull:
I'll let them go barefoot!... More ›› 59 - What do you call it when one bull spies on another
bull?
A steak-out!... More ›› 60 - Why do cows like being told jokes ?
Because
they like being amoosed !... More ›› 61 - What is the definition of "derange"?
De place
where de cowboys ride!... More ›› 62 - When is a farmer like a magician?
When he turns
his cow into pasture.... More ›› 63 - Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of
humor?
A: Laughing stock.... More ›› 64 - What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by
boat?
Shipped beef!... More ›› 65 - What do you call it when cows do battle in outer
space?
Steer Wars.... More ›› 66 - What magazine makes cows stampede to the
newsstand?
Cows-mopolitan!... More ›› 67 - Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case!... More ›› 68 - What do you call a cow who argues with her
husband?
A bullfighter!... More ›› 69 - What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a
knight?
Sir Loin!... More ›› 70 - What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"?
A
cow walking backwards!... More ›› 71 - Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat?
To the calf-ateria!... More ›› 72 - If you make a cow angry, how will she get even?
She'll cream you!... More ›› 73 - What do you get when you cross a cow with a
kangaroo?
A kangamoo!... More ›› 74 - What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner?
A charmer farmer!... More ›› 75 - What do cows usually
fly around in?
Helicowpters and Bulloons.... More ›› 76 - What do cows wear when they're
vacationing in
Hawaii?
Moo moos... More ›› 77 - What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A lawn moo-er.... More ›› 78 - What do you get if you cross a steer and a
chicken?
Roost beef!... More ›› 79 - What famous painting do cows love to look
at?
The Moona Lisa!... More ›› 80 - What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a
cow?
Cowboom!... More ›› 81 - Why did the cow
jump over the moon?
To get
to the Milky Way!... More ›› 82 - Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He
wanted rich milk!... More ›› 83 - What do you call a cow that's just had a baby?
De-calfinated!... More ›› 84 - Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers?
She heard he
was a cowpuncher!... More ›› 85 - Q. What does a cow make when the sun
comes
out?
A. A shadow... More ›› 86 - What do cows do for entertainment?
They go to
the mooooovies.... More ›› 87 - What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla!... More ›› 88 - What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It
grows a Moostache.... More ›› 89 - What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?
A merry dairy!... More ›› 90 - What does a cow like to do by a campfire?
Roast
Moosmallows!... More ›› 91 - What happens when the cows refuse to be
milked?
Udder chaos!... More ›› 92 - What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle?
A nerd herd!... More ›› 93 - What did the calf say to the silo?
"Is my
fodder in there?"... More ›› 94 - What do you call a cow that plays the guitar?
A
Moosician!... More ›› 95 - What do you call a cow that doesn't give
milk?
A milk dud!... More ›› 96 - What do you call a cow that fell in a hole?
A
hole-y Cow!... More ›› 97 - What do you get from a cow on the North Pole?
Cold cream!... More ›› 98 - Why couldn't the cow leave the farm?
She was
pasteurized!... More ›› 99 - What do cows read at the breakfast table?
The
moospaper!... More ›› 100 - What do you call a cow on the barnyard
floor?
Ground Beef... More ›› 101 - What is a moo hoo for steak that came late?
Filet delay!... More ›› 102 - What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a... More ›› 103 - Where
do cows like to ride on trains?
In
the cow-boose.... More ›› 104 - Why are cpws made for dancing?
They're all
born hoofers!... More ›› 105 - Is there big money in the cattle business?
So
I've herd!... More ›› 106 - What do you get from an invisible cow?
Evaporated milk!... More ›› 107 - What is a moo hoo for a sheepish steer?
A
woolly bully!... More ›› 108 - How did that bullfight come out?
Oh, it was a
toss-up!... More ›› 109 - What do cows get when they do all their
chores?
Mooney.... More ›› 110 - What do you get from a forgetful cow?
Milk of
amnesia!... More ›› 111 - How did the farmer find his lost cow?
He
tractor down... More ›› 112 - What are cows favorite party games?
MOO-sical
chairs!... More ›› 113 - What are the spots on black-and-white
cows?
Holstaines... More ›› 114 - What do you get from a short-legged cow?
Dragon milk!... More ›› 115 - How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo
stick.... More ›› 116 - In what state will you find the most cows?
Moo
York!... More ›› 117 - What did the cow wear to the football game?
A
Jersey.... More ›› 118 - What do you call a cow with no front legs?
Lean Beef... More ›› 119 - What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?
Eski-moos!... More ›› 120 - What do you call explosive cow vomit?
A cud
missle!... More ›› 121 - What hair style is a calf's favorite?
The
cowlick!... More ›› 122 - What's a moo hoo for a darling bull?
A dear
steer!... More ›› 123 - What's a moo hoo for a stuffed steer?
A full
bull!... More ›› 124 - Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip
cream!... More ›› 125 - What do you call a sleeping
bull?
A
bull-dozer.... More ›› 126 - What do you get from pampered cows?
Spoiled
milk!... More ›› 127 - What game do little cows like to play?
Moonopoly.... More ›› 128 - What's a moo hoo for grazing school?
Grass
class!... More ›› 129 - How did the calf's final exam turn out?
Grade
A!... More ›› 130 - What country do cows love to visit?
Moo
Zealand!... More ›› 131 - What's a cow's favorite moosical
note?
Beef-flat!... More ›› 132 - How do bulls drive their cars?
They steer
them!... More ›› 133 - What animals do you bring
to bed?
Your
calves.... More ›› 134 - What did one dairy cow say to another?
Got
milk?... More ›› 135 - What do you get from a cowmedian?
Cream of
Wit!... More ›› 136 - What happened to the lost cattle?
Nobody's
herd.... More ›› 137 - What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner?
Cow
chow!... More ›› 138 - What do cows call Frank Sinatra?
Old Moo
Eyes!... More ›› 139 - What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic!... More ›› 140 - Where do steers go to dance?
To the Meat
Ball!... More ›› 141 - Where does a cow stop to drink?
The milky
way!... More ›› 142 - What is a cow's
favourite TV show ?
Dr
Moo !... More ›› 143 - What's a moo hoo for a young calf?
A new
moo!... More ›› 144 - What is a cow's favorite lunch
meat?
Bullogna... More ›› 145 - Where do Danish cows come from?
Cowpenhagenf... More ›› 146 - Where do milk shakes come from?
Nervous
cows!... More ›› 147 - What gives milk and has a horn?
A milk tank!... More ›› 148 - What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.... More ›› 149 - How does a cow do math?
With a cowculator!... More ›› 150 - Why was the calf afraid?
He was a cow-herd!... More ›› 151 - What do you call a tired cow?
Milked out!... More ›› 152 - What goes oo ooo oooo?
A cow with no lips.... More ›› 153 - What US state has the most cows?
Moosouri!... More ›› 154 - What do cows like to listen to?
Moo-sic!... More ›› 155 - Where do Russian cows come from?
Moscow!... More ›› 156 - What band is a cow favorite?
Moody Blues... More ›› 157 - Where do cows like to live? St. Moo-is.... More ›› |
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