1 - How long does it take to burn a candle down
?
About a wick !... More ›› 2 - Once upon a time there was a little girl who
wanted a kitten for Christmas. Her mother couldn't... More ›› 3 - 'Father Christmas has two
reindeer. He
calls one Edward and the other one Edward! I bet you can'... More ›› 4 - Doctor, Doctor, Father Christmas gives us
oranges every Christmas. Now I think I'm turning into... More ›› 5 - What was wrong with the boy's
brand new
toy electric train set he
received for Christmas?
Fo... More ›› 6 - What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they
were looking out their front
window?
"Looks like rein... More ›› 7 - What's Father Christmas
called when he
takes a rest while delivering presents ?
Santa pause !... More ›› 8 - How did the chickens dance at the Christmas
party ?
Chick to chick !... More ›› 9 - What happens to you at Christmas ?
Yule
be happy !... More ›› 10 - It was Christmas
eve, and Santa was
really busy making his list and checking it twice, when
th... More ›› 11 - I remember when Father Christmas first
passed his
sleigh-driving test. He came skidding down in... More ›› 12 - 'Father
Christmas has two reindeer. He
calls one Edward and the other one Edward! I
bet you ca... More ›› 13 - Father Christmas: I thought I asked you to
go out there and clear the snow!
I'm on my way, Fath... More ›› 14 - Father Christmas: What's your
favourite
Christmas story?
Elf: The one where the three creatures... More ›› 15 - My problem is that I
keep stealing
things when I go Christmas shopping. Can you give me
someth... More ›› 16 - Father Christmas: Excuse me, but did I step
on your toes on my way out to get an ice-cream?
Lad... More ›› 17 - Father Christmas: All right, my good lady,
my face is my ticket.
Box office attendant: Then you'd... More ›› 18 - Dear Father
Christmas, this Christmas
could you please send me a yellow door.
Yours, Sherlock... More ›› 19 - Father
Christmas: How do I stop a
Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?
Gnome : Put a fi... More ›› 20 - I've had a slight
accident with your
sleigh, Father Christmas!
Father Christmas: Oh no! That sl... More ›› 21 - Dear Father Christmas, could you please
send me some Crocodile shoes!.
Father Christmas: Can't... More ›› 22 - Father Christmas:
What's your favourite
Christmas story?
Elf: The one about the ghost that stea... More ›› 23 - Who made this Christmas pudding?
Our
chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool.
Wha... More ›› 24 - Father Christmas:I
like the story about
the girl who steals from the rich and gives it all to... More ›› 25 - Elf: My favourite film is about the man who
casts spells in the middle of a swamp.
Father Chris... More ›› 26 - Someone
bought Scrooge a clock for
Christmas. He put it straight in the bank.
Why did he do tha... More ›› 27 - Doctor, Doctor, with all the excitement of
Christmas I can't sleep.
Try lying on the edge of yo... More ›› 28 - A group of mountain
climbers once heard
Father Christmas go past.
They must have had sharp ears... More ›› 29 - What song do Father Christmas' gnomes sing
to him when he comes home cold on Christmas night?
F... More ›› 30 - Why is
Christmas just like a day at the
office ?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the s... More ›› 31 - Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a
Christmas bell!
Just take these pills - and, if they don'... More ›› 32 - Last year's Christmas pudding was so
awful I threw it in the ocean.
That's probably why the oce... More ›› 33 - What is the difference between the Christmas
alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas... More ›› 34 - Why does Santa Claus only have seven
reindeer?
Because Prancer moved in with a hairdresser in... More ›› 35 - Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer
now
works for Proctor and Gamble?
Its true....Comet... More ›› 36 - I wouldn't say
Christmas gnomes are
ugly,
But if beauty's skin deep then they were was born in... More ›› 37 - I wouldn't say that Christmas gnomes are
cross-eyed,
but when they cry the tears run down thei... More ›› 38 - ELF NO. 1: What did
Santa shout to his
toys on Christmas Eve?
ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone, sack t... More ›› 39 - What was so good about he
neurotic doll
the girl was given for Christmas?
It was wound up alre... More ›› 40 - Why are Father Christmas' reindeer like a
cricket
match?
Because they're both stopped by the re... More ›› 41 - What do gnomes fear
most about
Christmas?
They're afraid Father Christmas will give them the sa... More ›› 42 - Can I have a broken drum for
Christmas?
The best thing you could have asked for. You can't beat i... More ›› 43 - What did the bald man say when he got
a
comb for Christmas ?
Thanks, I'll never part with it !... More ›› 44 - Why does Santa's sled get such good
mileage?
Because it has long-distance runners on each side.... More ›› 45 - Father Christmas lost
his umbrella but
he didn't get wet! Why not?
Because it wasn't raining!... More ›› 46 - What does Father Christmas suffer from if he
gets
stuck in a chimney ?
Santa Claustrophobia !... More ›› 47 - Doctor,
Doctor I'm scared of Father
Christmas
Doctor: You're suffering from Claus-trophobia.... More ›› 48 - I wouldn't say Christmas gnomes are
small.
But they used to be lumberjacks on a mushroom farm!... More ›› 49 - Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses at the
beach ?
Because he didn't want to be recognised !... More ›› 50 - One time Father Christmas lost his
underpants.
That's how he got the name Saint Knickerless!... More ›› 51 - JUDY: What did the ghosts say to Santa
Claus?
MIKE: We'll have a boo Christmas without you.... More ›› 52 - ELF: Santa, one of the reindeer swallowed my
pencil! What
should I do?
SANTA: Use a pen.... More ›› 53 - If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child,
what would
he be called?
A subordinate claus.... More ›› 54 - Why is a burning candle like being
thirsty ?
Beacause a little water ends both of them !... More ›› 55 - How to cats greet each other at
Christmas ?
"A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year" !... More ›› 56 - Why does Father Christmas like to work in
the garden ?
Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe... More ›› 57 - What do you have in December that you don't
have in any other month ?
The letter "D" !... More ›› 58 - Father Christmas win a saucepan in a
competition.
Now thats what you call pot luck !... More ›› 59 - What did the big cracker
say to the
little cracker ?
My pop is bigger than yours !... More ›› 60 - Why is a cat on a beach like
Christmas
?
Because they both have "Sandy claws" !... More ›› 61 - What's fat and jolly and runs on eight
wheels?
Father Christmas on roller skates!... More ›› 62 - Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?
No
you can have turkey like everyone else !... More ›› 63 - Why couldn't the skeleton go to the
Christmas Party ?
He had no body to go with !... More ›› 64 - What do
you get if you cross Father
Christmas with a detective ?
Santa Clues !... More ›› 65 - What do you call a letter sent up the
chimney
on Christmas Eve ?
Black mail !... More ›› 66 - "Why did your boyfriend return his Christmas
tie?" "He said it was too tight."... More ›› 67 - Who sings "Love me tender", and makes
Christmas
toys?
Santa's little Elvis.... More ›› 68 - What do you get if you
cross an apple
with a Christmas tree ?
A pineapple !... More ›› 69 - What does Dracula write on his Christmas
cards ?
Best vicious of the season... More ›› 70 - Why are Christmas trees like bad
knitters
?
They both drop their needles !... More ›› 71 - What reindeer can jump higher than a
house?
They all can! Houses can't jump!... More ›› 72 - Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind
his
manners the most?
"Rude"olph... More ›› 73 - What does Father Christmas
call that
reindeer with no eyes?
No-eyed-deer!... More ›› 74 - What's a hairdressers's favourite
Christmas song?
'Oh comb all ye faithful'... More ›› 75 - Did you hear about the stupid turkey?
It
was looking forward to Christmas!... More ›› 76 - A football supporter's favourite
Christmas song?
'Yule never walk alone'... More ›› 77 - Why was Santa's little helper
depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.... More ›› 78 - Why couldn't the butterfly go to the
Chistmas ball ?
It was a moth ball !... More ›› 79 - Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.... More ›› 80 - How do sheep greet each other at Christmas
?
A merry Christmas to ewe... More ›› 81 - Who is never hungry at Christmas ?
The
turkey - he's always stuffed !... More ›› 82 - What did Adam say on the day before
Christmas ?
It's Christmas, Eve !... More ›› 83 - What's a ghosts favourite Christmas
entertainment ?
A phantomime !... More ›› 84 - Who brings the Christmas presents to
police stations?
Santa Clues.... More ›› 85 - A rabbit's favourite Christmas
song?
'Lettuce with a gladsome mind'... More ›› 86 - What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?
Jungle
Bells, Jungle bells.. !... More ›› 87 - What do you give a train driver for
Christmas
?
Platform shoes !... More ›› 88 - Why does Father Christmas go down
chimneys?
Because they soot him!... More ›› 89 - Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas
cake ?
Your teeth !... More ›› 90 - What do you get hanging from Father
Christmas' roof?
Tired arms!... More ›› 91 - What's the most popular wine at
Christmas?
"I don't like sprouts!"... More ›› 92 - What do you call a man who claps at
Christmas
?
Santapplause !... More ›› 93 - Did you hear about Dracula's Christmas
party ?
It was a scream !... More ›› 94 - Who delivers presents to baby sharks at
Christmas ?
Santa Jaws !... More ›› 95 - Who delievers elephants's Christmas
presents?
Elephanta Claus !... More ›› 96 - How does Santa Claus take pictures?
With
his North Pole-aroid.... More ›› 97 - How do sheep in Mexico say
Merry
Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!... More ›› 98 - What do vampires put on their turkey at
Christmas ?
Grave-y !... More ›› 99 - What do you get if you deep fry Santa
Claus?
Crisp Cringle.... More ›› 100 - What did Dracula say at the Christmas party
?
Fancy a bite ?... More ›› 101 - What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
Crisp Cringle.... More ›› 102 - What game do reindeer play in their
stalls?
Stable-tennis!... More ›› 103 - How many chimney does Father Christmas go
down ?
Stacks !... More ›› 104 - What's Scrooge's favourite Christmas
game?
Mean-opoly.... More ›› 105 - What does Father Christmas call his money
?
Iced lolly ?... More ›› 106 - What is the cow's holiday greeting?
Mooooory Christmas!... More ›› 107 - Who delievers cat's Christmas
presents
?
Santa Paws !... More ›› 108 - What's Tarzan's favourite Christmas
song?
Jungle bells.... More ›› 109 - How do you make a slow reindeer fast
?
Don't feed it !... More ›› 110 - What bird has wings but cannot
fly
?
Roast turkey !... More ›› 111 - What's Christmas called in England
?
Yule Britannia !... More ›› 112 - Why is it so cold at Christmas?
It's in
Decembrrrrr.... More ›› 113 - What can Santa give away and still keep?
A cold.... More ›› 114 - What nationality is Santa Claus?
North
Polish.... More ›› 115 - What does Santa say when he is sick?
OH
OH NO!... More ›› |
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