1 - Did you hear about the doctor who crossed a
parrot with a vampire ?
It bit his neck, sucked his... More ›› 2 - Why was Dracula always willing to help
young vampires?
Because he liked to see new blood in th... More ›› 3 - Did you hear about the
vampire who had an
eye for the ladies?
He used to keep it in his back p... More ›› 4 - What happened to the two mad vampires?
They both went a little batty.... More ›› 5 - Two men were having a drink together.
One
said, "I'd rather live with a vampire than with my wif... More ›› 6 - Doctor, doctor, I think I've been bitten by a
vampire.
Drink this glass of water.
Will it ma... More ›› 7 - When the picture of the vampire's grandmother
crashed
to the floor in the middle of the night wh... More ›› 8 - What happened when a doctor crossed a parrot
with a
vampire?
It bit his neck, sucked his blood... More ›› 9 - What do you get if you cross a vampire and a
circus
entertainer ?
Something that goes straight... More ›› 10 - One vampire to the
other : " Let's go and
have a drink.I know a cosy little mortuary
just roun... More ›› 11 - Did you hear about the vampire who joined
an orchestra?
He stood on the roof and conducted lig... More ›› 12 - What does Mrs Dracula say to Mr Dracula when
he leaves for work in the evening?
Have a nice bi... More ›› 13 - Why did the vampire stand
at the bus stop
with his finger up his nose?
He was a ghoulsnif fer.... More ›› 14 - What do you get if you cross a vampire with a
snail?
I don't know but it would slow him down.... More ›› 15 - Why did the vampire go crazy
at Burger
King?
He saw all that catsup and wanted a transfusion.... More ›› 16 - What do you get if you
cross a vampire and
a mummy ?
Something you wouldn't want to unwrap !... More ›› 17 - Did you know that Dracula wants to become a
comedian?
He's looking for a crypt writer.... More ›› 18 - Why
did the vampire have pedestrian eyes?
They looked both ways before they crossed.... More ›› 19 - What did the vampire do to stop his son biting
his nails ?
He cut all his fingers off !... More ›› 20 - How does a vampire get through life with
only one fang?
He has to grin and bare it.... More ›› 21 - Why was the vampire thought of as
simple-minded?
Because he was a complete sucker.... More ›› 22 - What should you do if a vampire borrows your
comic?
Wait for him to give it back.... More ›› 23 - Why is it tough to compete against a vampire?
Because they're always out for blood!... More ›› 24 - Did you hear about the vampire
who died of
a broken heart?
He had loved in vein.... More ›› 25 - What do you get if you cross Dracula with a
snail?
The world's slowest vampire.... More ›› 26 - When he's out driving, where
does Dracula
like to stop and eat?
The Happy Biter.... More ›› 27 - Why did the vampire enjoy ballroom dancing?
He could really get into the vaultz.... More ›› 28 - Did you hear about the vampire who got
married?
He proposed to his girl-fiend.... More ›› 29 - What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir
Lancelot?
A bite in shining armor.... More ›› 30 - Why did the vampire attack the clown?
He
wanted the circus to be in his blood.... More ›› 31 - Why was the young vampire a failure?
Because he fainted at the sight of blood.... More ›› 32 - What do you call a vampire
after it is
one-year-old?
A two-year-old vampire.... More ›› 33 - Did you hear about the vampire
in Camelot?
He was a bite of the Round Table!... More ›› 34 - Why does Dracula always travel with his
coffin?
Because his life is at stake.... More ›› 35 - How do you join a Vampire Fan Club?
Send
your name, address and blood group.... More ›› 36 - Why is Hollywood full of vampires?
They
need someone to play the bit parts.... More ›› 37 - Who plays center forward for the vampire
football team?
The ghoulscorer.... More ›› 38 - How do vampires keep their breath smelling
nice?
They use extractor fangs.... More ›› 39 - What does Dracula say when you tell him a new
fact?
Well, fangcy that!... More ›› 40 - Why did Dracula go to the
orthodontist?
He wanted to improve his bite.... More ›› 41 - Why are vampire families so close?
Because
blood is thicker than water.... More ›› 42 - Do you know how to catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut!... More ›› 43 - What is the first thing that
vampires
learn at school?
The alphabat.... More ›› 44 - What is the vampire's
favorite slogan?
Please Give Blood Generously.... More ›› 45 - What kind of medicine does Dracula take for a
cold?
Coffin medicine.... More ›› 46 - How does Dracula like to have his
food
served?
In bite-sized pieces.... More ›› 47 - Why did the vampire go to hospital?
He
wanted his ghoulstones removed.... More ›› 48 - Why do vampires hate arguments?
Because
they make themselves cross.... More ›› 49 - What do vampires have at eleven
o'clock
every day?
A coffin break.... More ›› 50 - MUMMY VAMPIRE: Jimmy, hurry up and drink your
soup
before it clots.... More ›› 51 - What do you get if you cross Dracula with AI
Capone?
A fangster.... More ›› 52 - Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with
?
The girl necks door.... More ›› 53 - Why does Dracula have no friends?
Because
he's a pain in the neck.... More ›› 54 - What does Dracula say to his victims?
It's been nice gnawing you.... More ›› 55 - What does a vampire stand on after taking a
shower?
A bat mat.... More ›› 56 - What's it called when a vampire
kisses
you goodnight?
Necking.... More ›› 57 - What is the American national day for
vampires?
Fangsgiving Day.... More ›› 58 - Where is Dracula's American office?
The
Vampire State Building.... More ›› 59 - What do you call a vampire that can lift up
cars ?
Jack-u-la !... More ›› 60 - Why did Dracula miss lunch?
Because he
didn't fancy the stake.... More ›› 61 - Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin?
It
wanted to play squash.... More ›› 62 - What kind of typewriters do vampires like?
Blood type-writers.... More ›› 63 - What type of people do vampires like?
Type
O positive people.... More ›› 64 - What do vampire footballers have at
half-time?
Blood oranges.... More ›› 65 - How does a vampire enter his
house?
Through the bat flap.... More ›› 66 - What is the best way to talk to a
vampire?
By long distance.... More ›› 67 - What do vampires make sandwiches out of?
Self-raising dead.... More ›› 68 - What is a vampire's
favourite soup
?
Scream of mushroom !... More ›› 69 - Which vampire ate the three bears' porridge?
Ghouldilocks.... More ›› 70 - How does a vampire clean his house?
With a
victim cleaner.... More ›› 71 - What's pink, lives in a sty and drinks
blood?
A hampire.... More ›› 72 - Where did vampires go to first in America?
New-fang-land.... More ›› 73 - Why did the vampire take up acting?
It was
in his blood.... More ›› 74 - Which flavor ice cream is Dracula's favorite?
Vein-illa.... More ›› 75 - What is Dracula's favorite pudding?
Leeches and scream.... More ›› 76 - What do you call a vampire in a raincoat
?
Mack-u-la !... More ›› 77 - Which vampire tried to eat James Bond?
Ghouldfinger.... More ›› 78 - What does a vampire take for a
cold?
Coffin syrup!... More ›› 79 - Why wouldn't the vampire
eat his
soup?
It clotted.... More ›› 80 - What is Dracula's favorite
fruit?
Neck-tarines.... More ›› 81 - What do vampires cross the sea in?
Blood
vessels.... More ›› 82 - What's a vampire's favorite drink?
A
Bloody Mary.... More ›› 83 - What's Dracula's car called?
A mobile
blood unit.... More ›› 84 - What do you call a vampire junkie?
Count
Drugula.... More ›› 85 - How does a girl vampire flirt?
She bats
her eyes.... More ›› 86 - What's a vampire's favorite hobby?
In-grave-ing.... More ›› 87 - What do you think of Dracula films?
Fangtastic!... More ›› 88 - What has webbed feet and fangs?
Count
Quackula.... More ›› 89 - How does Dracula keep fit?
He plays
batminton.... More ›› 90 - When do vampires bite you?
On
Wincedays.... More ›› |
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