1 - A businessman was traveling in the train
and his
seat was reserved in the last couch of the trai... More ›› 2 - A man goes out and buys the best
car
available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is... More ›› 3 - A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a
stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce.
He rolled down his wind... More ›› 4 - One day, two guys were driving
to a
local grocery store to get some food. On the way to the stor... More ›› 5 - Ole
and Lena were sitting down to
their usual morning cup of coffee,
listening to the weather... More ›› 6 - A young bloke has started work on a
property, and the boss
sends him up the back paddocks to d... More ›› 7 - Andy wants a job as a signalman on the
railways. He is told to meet the inspector at the signal... More ›› 8 - A fellow was following a truck in heavy
traffic.
Every block or so, when
they were stopped at... More ›› 9 - A man is driving along in the Irish
countryside, when he
comes to a petrol station, since he's i... More ›› 10 - Five Englishmen
in an Audi Quattro
arrive at the Italian border.
The Italian customer agent s... More ›› 11 - Blake and his parents were
drinking
at the bar in a train station when they heard a whistle. The... More ›› 12 - A young man comes home and says "Dad,
just got my driver's license and would like to use the fam... More ›› 13 - A tourist is picked up by a cabbie in
New York on a dark
night. The passenger taps the driver on... More ›› 14 - A
Roadway driver is driving east on
Route 66 he sees a truck driving west and
the CB crackles... More ›› 15 - A grizzled old man was eating in a truck
stop when three Hell's Angels' bikers walked in. The fi... More ›› 16 - A tiny
racing car was developed by
American scientists. The Americans then sent
the car over t... More ›› 17 - A man is driving down the road for a
long period of time.
During
his travel, he sees a pries... More ›› 18 - An Irish
priest and a Rabbi get into
a car accident. They both get out of their
cars and stumb... More ›› 19 - A guy driving a truck in the middle of
nowhere picks up a hitch-hiker.
It gets dark and the hit... More ›› 20 - After seeing a
documentary on how
inner city youths can remove
the wheels of cars in under 4 se... More ›› 21 - Dilmer, six-foot-three, two hundred
eighty pounds, was thrown from
his seat when the Southern Ra... More ›› 22 - A driver pulled up beside a rundown
farmhouse. He got out
and
knocked at the door. A very old... More ›› 23 - One day there was a family driving in the
car to Michigan to
visit their relatives. They were lo... More ›› 24 - After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the
long lines, surly clerks, and
insane regulations at the... More ›› 25 - A sardarji
was working as editor in
a daily newspaper. Once he was travelling to
Bombay to del... More ›› 26 - A man learned shortly before quitting
time
that he had to attend a meeting.
He tried unsucce... More ›› 27 - A passenger train is creeping along,
slowly. Finally it creaks to a
halt. A passenger sees a con... More ›› 28 - The train was about to pull out of the
station. Swinging a
large bag, a young man managed to rea... More ›› 29 - A Lutheran
minister is driving down
to New York to see the
radio show and he's stopped in Conn... More ›› 30 - Peter Ludwig, a caver from Austria who
is
appalled by American driving
habits, offers the follo... More ›› 31 - A state trooper pulled a car over and
told the man driving
that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph z... More ›› 32 - A driver tucked this note under the
windshield wiper of his automobile. "I've circled the block... More ›› 33 - Jill's car was unreliable and she
called John for a ride every time
it broke down.
One day J... More ›› 34 - In a very small alley two trucks
driving in opposite directions meet.
As the drivers are equa... More ›› 35 - A man was driving up a steep and narrow
mountain road.
A woman was driving down the same road.... More ›› 36 - A man was fed up of
having his car
broken into and having his radio stolen he decided he
would... More ›› 37 - Auntie Gladys
bought herself a new
rear-engine continental car. She took an old friend for
a s... More ›› 38 - While driving along the back roads of a
small town, two
truckers came to an overpass with a sign... More ›› 39 - Kelly was standing in front of Cohan's
Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down t... More ›› 40 - Auntie Maud bought herself a new
rear-engine European car. She took an
old friend for a drive, b... More ›› 41 - It had been snowing for
hours when
an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students... More ›› 42 - As a
senior citizen was driving down
the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering,
he heard his... More ›› 43 - One day a guy was driving with his
4-year-old daughter
and beeped his car horn by mistake.
She t... More ›› 44 - WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It
has water in the carburettor."
HUSBAND: "Water in the... More ›› 45 - Q: How many auto mechanics does it take
to change a light
bulb?
A: Six - One to force it with... More ›› 46 - "Where's the car?" asked Professor
Delbert's wife when he got home.
"Did I take it out?"... More ›› 47 - A San Francisco motorist following a
taillight in a dense fog crashed into the car ahead of him... More ›› 48 - McAfee and Bracket were driving home
after a big party.
"Hey," said McAfee, "be sure to watch... More ›› 49 - Two cab drivers met.
"Hey," asked
one, "what's the idea of painting one side of your cab
red... More ›› 50 - A man whose son had just passed his
driving
test went home one evening and found that the boy ha... More ›› 51 - Hawk and Tom were talking in the bar.
Hawk said," I just got kicked off the course for breaking... More ›› 52 - A man was in court charged
with
parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked if he had... More ›› 53 - A man was in court charged with
parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked if he had... More ›› 54 - A driver, obviously
drunk, was
heading the wrong way down
a one-way street when a policeman pul... More ›› 55 - Personally, I like
to stay and read
the credits. When the last scene of Titanic faded to
black... More ›› 56 - I saw the most beautiful
cars in the
window of a dealership recently. A sales man came out and... More ›› 57 - On Fred's 17th
birthday, his Dad
said he'd take him out for his first driving lesson.
As they... More ›› 58 - You know all that talk about backseat
driving?
Well, I've been driving all my life and can s... More ›› 59 - A man
walks into an auto parts store
and says "I'd like a rear view mirror
for my Yugo."
Th... More ›› 60 - If an electric train travels 90
miles an hour in a westerly direction and the wind is blowing fr... More ›› 61 - Q: Who has the right of
way when
four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pi... More ›› 62 - Two wizards in a car
were driving
along and the police were chasing them for speeding.
One sai... More ›› 63 - "When you exit the bus, please
be
sure to lower your head and watch your step."
"If you miss... More ›› 64 - A monster goes to a petrol station and
says: Fill me up
The man at the petrol station replies: Yo... More ›› 65 - A boy sat on a train chewing gum and
staring vacantly into space, when suddenly an old woman sit... More ›› 66 - Motorist: When I bought this car you
told me it
was rust-free, but underneath it's covered with... More ›› 67 - Policeman: What do you think you're
doing driving through that
intersection fifty miles an
hou... More ›› 68 - My sister's a really bad driver.
What makes you say that?
Every time she goes out in the car,... More ›› 69 - I was going 70 miles an hour and got
stopped by a cop who said, -Do you know the speed limit is... More ›› 70 - A motorist ran into a shop.
"Do you
own a black and white cat?" he asked. "No," replied the
ma... More ›› 71 - Policeman: I suppose
you're going
to tell me you weren't speeding.
Motorist: I was speeding all... More ›› 72 - Q: How many London taxi drivers does it
take to change a
lightbulb ?
A: What ? Go all the way... More ›› 73 - If you watch the way that many motorists
drive you will soon reach the conclusion that the most... More ›› 74 - Did you hear about
the girl who was
so keen on road safety that she always wore white at
night... More ›› 75 - When I get real bored, I
like to
drive down town and get a great parking spot, then sit in my ca... More ›› 76 - Teacher: "Who built the first American
car?"
Student: "Me Pilgrims."
Teacher: "The Pilgrims?"... More ›› 77 - What's the difference between a
schoolteacher and a train driver?
A schoolteacher says, "Spit... More ›› 78 - Motorist: Does a deer have a
horn?
Police Officer: No, a deer has two horns.
Motorist: Then it m... More ›› 79 - Policeman: Are you going
to a
fire?
Motorist: No, I'm trying to prevent one. That's what my bos... More ›› 80 - Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles
home.
Ghost: Why don't you take a train.
Monster: I did o... More ›› 81 - Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles
home.'
Ghost: Why don't you take a train?
Monster: I did once... More ›› 82 - What do you get if
you cross a Rolls
Royce with a vampire?
A monster that attacks expensive ca... More ›› 83 - Policeman: What do you think you're
doing parking your car there?
Motorist: I thought it was go... More ›› 84 - What sort of a car has your dad
got?
I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T.
Re... More ›› 85 - Policeman: Why did
you stop your
car, get out, and yell "coward" at the traffic signal?
Motoris... More ›› 86 - Q: What changes would occur in your
lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would... More ›› 87 - Policeman: I've had my eye on you for
some
time now.
Young Lady: That's funny. I thought you we... More ›› 88 - Why was the school
principal not
pleased when he bumped into an old friend ?
They were both dri... More ›› 89 - What's the difference between a teacher
and a conductor on the railroad?
One trains the mind,... More ›› 90 - Policeman: Why were
you speeding
when I stopped you?
Motorist: So I could race home to get my l... More ›› 91 - a quadruple amputee is waiting at the
bus stop.The bus pulls up.Driver says
"alright John, how... More ›› 92 - Did you ever see a country boy in New
York whistle for a cab? He puts two fingers in his mouth a... More ›› 93 - Q: What is the difference
between a
flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic... More ›› 94 - What is the difference between a
locomotive engineer and a teacher?
One minds the train, the ot... More ›› 95 - Policeman: How can you say
you
don't have any outstanding tickets?
Driver: They're all in the g... More ›› 96 - Policeman: Why were you
driving
around in circles and laughing?
Motorist: I thought I was on a... More ›› 97 - Why did the stupid racing car driver
make ten pit stops
during the Grand Prix?
He was asking f... More ›› 98 - Policeman: Why did your car
just
spin around in circles?
Motorist: I was making a U-turn and ch... More ›› 99 - Policeman: Why were you
speeding?
Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on "America's Mo... More ›› 100 - Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian
is crossing
the road?
A: What for? He can't see my lice... More ›› 101 - Why did your sister refuse the gift of a
Japanese car ?
Because she'd never be able to learn th... More ›› 102 - What did the monster say when he saw a
rush
hour train full of passengers?
Oh good! A chew che... More ›› 103 - Policeman: Did you realize you just
missed that bus with your car?
Motorist: Did you want me to... More ›› 104 - Policeman: Didn't you see my
lights
flashing?
Motorist: No, I was going faster than the speed o... More ›› 105 - Policeman: Didn't you see
the signs
with the speed limit?
Driver: I thought they were just
su... More ›› 106 - Learner driver: What happens when
everything's coming your way? Instructor: You're in the wrong... More ›› 107 - Policeman: Why did you lead me on a
high-speed chase?
Motorist: Because you'd catch me on a slo... More ›› 108 - Why do you have to wait so long for a
ghost train to come along?
They only run a skeleton serv... More ›› 109 - What did the big carburettor say to the
little carburettor?
"Don't inhale so fast or you'll cho... More ›› 110 - Did you hear
about the boy who had
to do a project on trains?
He had to keep track of everythi... More ›› 111 - Policeman: Why didn't
you stop at
that red light?
Motorist: Then you would have caught up with... More ›› 112 - Policeman: Didn't you hear me
whistle at you?
Woman Driver: Sure, but I don't flirt when I driv... More ›› 113 - Q: How can you reduce the possibility of
having an
accident?
A: Be too drunk to find your keys.... More ›› 114 - Policeman: Why are you
driving that
car in circles?
Driver: I was just going for a little spin.... More ›› 115 - Policeman:
Why were you
speeding?
Motorist: I was trying to get home before I ran out of
gas.... More ›› 116 - "Take the wheel, Harry!" said the
nervous lady driver. "There's a tree
coming straight for us!"... More ›› 117 - Policeman: Why are you
driving
without a license?
Motorist: Because it was revoked months ago.... More ›› 118 - Policeman: Do you know
how fast you
were going?
Motorist: No, you're the one with the radar.... More ›› 119 - Q: What did the first stoplight say to
the second
stoplight?
A: Don't look I'm changing!!... More ›› 120 - Policeman: Why are you driving on the
sidewalk?
Motorist: It's too dangerous on the street.... More ›› 121 - Policeman: Why
didn't you obey that
stop sign?
Driver: I don't believe everything I read.... More ›› 122 - Policeman: Why did you
crash into
that stop sign?
Motorist: I was only following orders.... More ›› 123 - Policeman: Why were you
speeding?
Motorist: I was trying to get away from the crime scene.... More ›› 124 - What is the best thing to take when
you're run over?
The number of the car that hit you.... More ›› 125 - What do you get if you cross an Egyptian
mummy with a car mechanic?
Toot and Car Man.... More ›› 126 - Policeman: How can you drive so
recklessly?
Driver: I have to, this is a getaway car.... More ›› 127 - Policeman: Why were you
asleep at
the wheel?
Motorist: Your siren lulled me to sleep.... More ›› 128 - What do you call someone who draws funny
pictures of
motor vehicles ?
A car-toonist !... More ›› 129 - Police Officer: Why are you driving in a
bathing suit?
Motorist: I'm in a car pool.... More ›› 130 - Policeman:
Didn't you see that stop
sign?
Driver: I keep my eyes closed in traffic.... More ›› 131 - Policeman: Why have you parked your bus
here?
Bus Driver: The sign says "Bus Stop."... More ›› 132 - Why did the car judder to a stop when it
saw a
ghost?
It had a nervous breakdown.... More ›› 133 - Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy
traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.... More ›› 134 - What should a teacher take if
he's
run down?
The number of the car that hit him.... More ›› 135 - Police Officer: Why were you
speeding?
Women Driver: I was late for traffic school.... More ›› 136 - What do you call a pig who's been
arrested for dangerous driving
?
A road hog !... More ›› 137 - Policeman: Why were you
speeding?
Driver: I didn't want to be late for my trial.... More ›› 138 - What is the meaning of
afford?
It's the car most sales representatives drive.... More ›› 139 - What kind of car drives over
water?
Any kind of car, if it goes over a bridge.... More ›› 140 - What did the man put on his car when
the weather was cold?
An extra muffler.... More ›› 141 - The only thing wrong with a perfect
drive to work is that you
end up at work.... More ›› 142 - What happens if an
axe falls on your
car?
You have an ax-i-dent (accident).... More ›› 143 - What is evil and ugly and goes at 125
mph?
A witch in a high speed train.... More ›› 144 - Where do cars get the most
flat
tires?
Where there is a fork in the road.... More ›› 145 - How do you stop a dog howling in the
back of a car?
Put him in the front.... More ›› 146 - Policeman: Didn't you hear my
siren?
Motorist: Sure, that's why I sped up.... More ›› 147 - What did one car muffler say to the
other
car muffler?
"Am I exhausted!"... More ›› 148 - What do you call a person who falls onto
you on a train ?
A laplander !... More ›› 149 - What would you have if your car's
motor was in flames?
A fire engine.... More ›› 150 - Why is it not safe to doze on trains?
Because they run over sleepers.... More ›› 151 - Why is an old car like a baby
playing?
Because it goes with a rattle.... More ›› 152 - What part of a car is the
laziest?
The wheels. They are always tired.... More ›› 153 - Why did the man put his car in the
oven?
Because he wanted a hot rod.... More ›› 154 - Whats black and white and red all
over?
A nun in a car accident.... More ›› 155 - What
happens when a frog's car
breaks down?
It gets toad away..... More ›› 156 - What do you get when you put a car and a
pet together ?
Carpet !... More ›› 157 - Q: When driving through fog, what
should you use?
A: Your car.... More ›› 158 - What do you call a witch who
drives
really badly?
A road hag.... More ›› 159 - How did the woman feel when she got run
over by a
car?
Tired.... More ›› 160 - Brother: How do you top a car
?
Sister: Tep on the brake, tupid.... More ›› 161 - Q: What kind of a car does a crazy man
drive?
A: A LOCOmotive.... More ›› 162 - What is a banged-up used
car?
A
car in first-crash condition.... More ›› 163 - My dad is stupid.
He thinks a fjord
is a Norwegian motor car.... More ›› 164 - Q: How do you deal with heavy
traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.... More ›› 165 - What is an autobiography?
The life
story of an automobile.... More ›› 166 - What did the jack say to the
car?
"Can I give you a lift?"... More ›› 167 - What kind of ears do trains
have?
Engineers (engine ears).... More ›› 168 - Q: What do you call a laughing
motorcycle?
A: A Yamahahaha... More ›› 169 - What do you say to a
one legged
hitch-hiker?
Hop in.... More ›› 170 - What song does a car radio play?
A
cartoon (car, tune).... More ›› 171 - Who drives away all of his
customers?
A taxicab driver.... More ›› 172 - Q) What's worse than raining
buckets?
A) Hailing taxis!... More ›› 173 - What is an autograph?
A chart which
shows car sales.... More ›› 174 - What driver doesn't have a
license?
A screw driver.... More ›› 175 - What do you call a pretend railway
?
A play station !... More ›› 176 - Q. What has one horn and gives milk?
A A milk truck.... More ›› 177 - What car do insects drive?
A
Volkswagen automobile.... More ›› 178 - Who drives away all
his customers
?
A taxi driver.... More ›› 179 - Which snakes are found on cars?
Windscreen vipers.... More ›› 180 - Where do ghost trains stop?
At devil
crossings.... More ›› 181 - What do you call a group of cars ?
A
clutch !... More ›› |
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