1 - Party Host: Hello?
Phone Caller: I'm
trying to reach a Ms. Nidiot. Her first name is Ima.
Coul... More ›› 2 - How does a skeleton call her friends?
On
a telebone.... More ›› 3 - A man and a couple of
his friends had
just finished a round of golf at the country club and
th... More ›› 4 - Who was that on the phone, Fred?
Fred:
No one important. Just some man who said it was long dist... More ›› 5 - What do you get if you cross a telephone
with a fat football player?
A wide receiver.... More ›› 6 - What do you get if you cross a telephone
and a marriage bureau ?
A wedding ring !... More ›› 7 - What did the man say when he got a
big
phone bill?
"Who said talk is cheap?"... More ›› 8 - Why is an engaged girl like a
telephone?
Because they both have rings.... More ›› 9 - How can you tell if a bee is on the phone?
You get a buzzy signal.... More ›› 10 - After my wife and her former best buddy,
another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that p... More ›› 11 - After my wife and her former best
buddy, another
Air Force wife, were separated by a move that p... More ›› 12 - Moody was
awakened by the telephone at
four A.M. It was his Ku Klux Klan buddy,
Crumm, calling... More ›› 13 - A psychiatrist was testing the mentality of
a patient.
"Do you ever hear voices without being... More ›› 14 - At three o'clock one morning a
veterinary surgeon was woken from a deep sleep by the ringing of... More ›› 15 - Harry was madly in love with Betty, but
couldn't pluck up enough
courage to pop the question fac... More ›› 16 - The new office-boy came
into his boss's
office and said, "I think you're wanted on the phone,... More ›› 17 - The phone in Rigby's Georgia farmhouse rang
one evening. When he answered, the operator said, "T... More ›› 18 - Kelso met Hensley on the
street. "Hey!"
said Kelso, "how come I never hear from you? Why don't y... More ›› 19 - Hello, police? Please send an officer over
to 324 London Road
right away!
Sorry, this isn't th... More ›› 20 - Caller: Operator! Operator! I don't know
what's wrong with my phone, but I can't make long dista... More ›› 21 - Caller: My goodness, Operator! Your nose is
so
stuffed up, I can't understand you. You should re... More ›› 22 - Caller: Operator! Operator! Do you know my
boyfriend's line has been busy for an hour?
Operato... More ›› 23 - Why did the girl who worked for the
telephone company
sing all the time?
Because she was an ope... More ›› 24 - Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a
telephone.
Doctor: Why's that?
I keep getting calls in t... More ›› 25 - How can you tell if someone who's having a
temper tantrum is on the phone?
You get a tizzy sig... More ›› 26 - Why did Dr Frankenstein have his telephone
cut off?
Because he wanted to win the Nobel prize!... More ›› 27 - How can you tell if someone who's just had
a perm is on the phone?
You get a frizzy signal!... More ›› 28 - How that we are engaged I hope you'll give
me a ring.
Of course. What's your phone number ?... More ›› 29 - Mother: Why was the phone busy all
night?
Babysitter: The fire department put me on hold.... More ›› 30 - What do you call a telephone call from
one vicar to another ?
A parson to parson call !... More ›› 31 - Caller: Operator! Operator! Call me an
ambulance!
Operator: Okay. You're an ambulance!... More ›› 32 - What happened to the little frog who sat on
the telephone?
He grew up to be a bellhop!... More ›› 33 - What do you get if you cross a pig and a
telephone ?
A lot of crackling on the line !... More ›› 34 - If you cross a telephone and a pair of
scissors, what do you get?
Snippy answers.... More ›› 35 - Why did the chicken walk on the telephone
wire?
She wanted to lay it on the line!... More ›› 36 - What do you get when you cross a telephone
with a pair of
pants?
Bell-bottoms!... More ›› 37 - What do you get if you cross a phone with a
birthday
celebration?
A party line!... More ›› 38 - How do Iranians speak on the
telephone?
Persian-to-Persian (person-to-person).... More ›› 39 - What asks no question but demands an
answer?
A doorbell or a ringing telephone.... More ›› 40 - What did the answering machine say to the
telephone?
Take my word for it.... More ›› 41 - What do
you call the sound a ghost makes
when he calls you?
A phone moan.... More ›› 42 - What do you get if you cross a
telephone
with an iron?
A smooth operator!... More ›› 43 - What do you get if you cross a telephone
with a
night crawler?
Ringworm!... More ›› 44 - If you cross a telephone and a lobster
what will you get?
Snappy talk.... More ›› 45 - How does a baboon make phone calls?
He
just monkeys around on the line!... More ›› 46 - Why are there so many Johnson
in he
phone book?
They all have phones.... More ›› 47 - What do
you get if you cross a phone
with a rooster?
A wake-up call!... More ›› 48 - When doesn't a telephone work
underwater?
When it's wringing wet!... More ›› 49 - How does a football player make phone calls?
On a touch-down phone.... More ›› 50 - Why did the alien phone home on his mobile?
Because it was so ET !... More ›› 51 - What do you get if you cross a phone with a
mouthwash?
Tele-Scope.... More ›› 52 - How did the telephones get married ?
In a
double ring ceremony !... More ›› 53 - How do, like, really laid-back types answer
the phone?
Mellow.... More ›› 54 - How is a telephone like a dirty bathtub?
They both have rings!... More ›› 55 - What animals talk on the telephone the most?
The yakety-yaks!... More ›› 56 - Who invented the telephone?
The
Phoenicians (phone-itions).... More ›› 57 - What do you call
an elephant in a phone
box?
Stuck.... More ›› 58 - When does a horse talk on the phone?
Whinny wants to!... More ›› 59 - What kind of music do phones love to hear?
A symphony... More ›› 60 - How does a baritone make phone calls?
Song distance!... More ›› 61 - How does Ebenezer Scrooge make phone calls?
Collect!... More ›› 62 - How does a cheerleader answer the phone?
H-E-L-L-O!... More ›› 63 - What do ghosts use to phone home?
A
terror-phone.... More ›› 64 - How does a door chime answer the phone?
Bella?... More ›› 65 - How do scaredy-cats answer the phone?
Yellow?... More ›› 66 - How does a lobster answer the phone?
Shello?... More ›› 67 - What kind of phone makes music?
A
saxophone.... More ›› |
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