1 - A man takes his hamster to the vet, and
after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it... More ›› 2 - A lady was walking down the street to
work and she
saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet sto... More ›› 3 - There once was a baby
elephant and
a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For... More ›› 4 - There's a guy who's hiking in the
woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree.
T... More ›› 5 - A vampire bat came flapping in from a
night of foraging, covered in
fresh blood. He parked himse... More ›› 6 - A lion was getting rather old and slow
and having difficulty
catching its prey. It decided it ne... More ›› 7 - Two hikers are out hiking. All of a
sudden, a bear starts chasing them.
They climb a tree, but... More ›› 8 - A man
moved to a mountain top to
get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day
he heard a knock... More ›› 9 - A family of tortoises went into a cafe
for some ice
cream. They sat down and were about to start... More ›› 10 - One day there was a tortoise walking on
the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeate... More ›› 11 - Deep
within a forest a little
turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of
effort he reached t... More ›› 12 - A skunk family had two little skunks
they called In
and Out. One day little In disappeared. Moth... More ›› 13 - This little snail bought a little car
and took it to the body
shop to have it painted. The servi... More ›› 14 - A hungry lion was
roaming through
the jungle looking for something to eat.
He came across two m... More ›› 15 - A snail starts a slow climb up the
trunk of an apple tree. He is watched by a sparrow who can't... More ›› 16 - An old lady was considering buying a
squirrel fur
coat. "But will it be all right in the rain?"... More ›› 17 - There was once a puppy called
May
who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than s... More ›› 18 - Look over there! Said the frightened
skunk to his pal.
"There's a human with a gun, and he's gett... More ›› 19 - There are bats hanging of a branch
upside down, all except one. Two bats comment: "What's happen... More ›› 20 - One day Mullah was beating his donkey
in a remote place. A man saw
him and asked: why are you be... More ›› 21 - First Kangaroo: If you were
surrounded by 30 lions, 25 elephants and 10 hippos, how would you ge... More ›› 22 - What has antlers, pulls Father
Christmas' sleigh and is made
of cement?
I don't know.
A
rein... More ›› 23 - A boy at a cinema notices what looks
like a bear sitting next to him "Are you a bear?"
"Yes"
"... More ›› 24 - How would you get four reindeer
in
a car?
Two in the front and two in the back!
And how do you... More ›› 25 - Two skunks were being chased by a
bear. As the bear got closer, one of the skunks said "Whatever... More ›› 26 - First Kangaroo: What do you call it
when
giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes movi... More ›› 27 - Why don't whales eat sushi very
often?
Of course whales like sushi. It's just those itty-bitty ch... More ›› 28 - First Kangaroo: How do you tell the
difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros?
Second Kan... More ›› 29 - If they made a movie starring the Loch
Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what wo... More ›› 30 - Did you hear about the
boy who was
told to do 100 lines?
He drew 100 cats on the paper.
He t... More ›› 31 - Why are dolphins cleverer than humans ?
Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side... More ›› 32 - How do you shoot a great white shark?
Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him w... More ›› 33 - What did the lions say to his cubs when
he taught them to hunt ?
'Don't go over the road till... More ›› 34 - Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce
Smokey the Bear?
A. Because every time she got hot, he'... More ›› 35 - What's yellow, comes from Peru, and is
completely unknown ?
Waterloo Bear, Paddington Bear's... More ›› 36 - A fish walks into a bar, the bartender
asks,
"What would you like?" the fish says holding his n... More ›› 37 - If a four-legged animal is a quadruped
and a two-legged
animal is a biped, What's a tiger ?
A... More ›› 38 - Did you hear about the new shark food
restaurant
called Jaws?
It costs an arm and a leg to eat... More ›› 39 - What would you get if you crossed a
grizzly with
the world's greatest basketball player?
Bear... More ›› 40 - Why do you never see zebras or
antelopes at Victoria
Station ?
Because it's a 'mane-lion' stat... More ›› 41 - What do headmasters and bullfrogs have
in common ?
Both have big heads that consist mostly of mo... More ›› 42 - Which ghost sailed the seven seas
looking for rubbish and blubber?
The ghost of BinBag the Wha... More ›› 43 - What's the difference between a
reindeer
and a snowball?
They're both brown, except the snowbal... More ›› 44 - How does a leopard change its spots ?
When it gets tired of one spot it just moves to another !... More ›› 45 - What happened to the tiger who
took
a bath three times a day ?
After a week he was spotless !... More ›› 46 - What happened to the skunk who failed
his swimming
lesson?
He stank to the bottom of the pool!... More ›› 47 - What
happened to the man who tried
to cross a lioin with a goat ?
He had to get a new goat !... More ›› 48 - What kind of noise annoys an oyster ?
A noisy noise annoys an oyster ! (Try saying that fast!)... More ›› 49 - What do you get if you cross a bottle
of water
with an electric eel?
A bit of a shock really!... More ›› 50 - First Caribou: Which bug does amazing
motor
cycle stunts?
Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.... More ›› 51 - Mama bear to Papa bear:
"Well... You
might call it hibernating -- I call it 'goofing
off'."... More ›› 52 - Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on
Thanksgiving?
They couldn't get the moose in the oven!... More ›› 53 - What do you get if you cross a skunk
and a balloon?
A creature that stinks to high heaven!... More ›› 54 - What do you get if you cross a skunk
and an owl?
A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot!... More ›› 55 - What did one slug say to another who
had hit him and
rushed off?
I'll get you next slime!... More ›› 56 - Exasperated dragon on the field of
battle:
"Mother said there would be knights like this."... More ›› 57 - What's wet and wiggly and says how do
you do sixteen
times?
Two octopuses shaking hands.... More ›› 58 - What's the difference between a tiger
and a lion ?
A tiger has the mane part missing !... More ›› 59 - What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of
raspberry and lives in the seas?
A red jellyfish.... More ›› 60 - What do you call a lion wearing a
cravat and a flower
in its mane ?
A dandy lion !... More ›› 61 - What do you get if you cross a skunk
and a boomerang?
A smell that keeps coming back!... More ›› 62 - What do you get if you cross a hedgehog
with a giraffe ?
A long necked toothbrush !... More ›› 63 - Why was the little bear so spoiled ?
Because its mother panda'd to its every whim !... More ›› 64 - What flies around your light at night
and can bite off your head ?
A tiger moth !... More ›› 65 - What was the name of the film about a
killer lion that swam underwater ?
'Claws.'... More ›› 66 - What do you get if you cross a skunk
and a wasp?
Something that stinks and stings!... More ›› 67 - Does a dolphin ever do something by
accident?
No, they do everything on porpoise!... More ›› 68 - What did the slug say as he slipped
down the window very fast?
How slime flies!... More ›› 69 - Did you hear about the whale who
couldn't keep a
secret?
He was a blubber mouth!... More ›› 70 - Why do polo bears like bald men ?
Because they have a great, white, bear place !... More ›› 71 - How are skunks able to avoid
danger?
By using their instinks and common scents!... More ›› 72 - What happened to the lizard in the
wizard's garden pond?
He had him newt-ered.... More ›› 73 - Q. What did the snail say when he
hitched a ride on the turtle?
A. Wheeeee!!!!!... More ›› 74 - What powerful reptile is found in
the Sydney opera house ?
The Lizard of Oz !... More ›› 75 - Did you hear about the skunk who
sat on a fan?
He got cut off without a scent!... More ›› 76 - What's black and white and makes a lot
of
noise?
A zebra with a set of drums.... More ›› 77 - What do you get if you cross a zebra
with an ape man?
Tarzan stripes forever.... More ›› 78 - What's the definition of a nervous
breakdown ?
A chameleon on a tartan rug !... More ›› 79 - Which is the most dangerous animal in
the
Northern Hemisphere?
Yak the Ripper... More ›› 80 - What do you call a
big white bear
with a hole in his middle ?
A polo bear !... More ›› 81 - Did you hear about the argumentative
skunk?
He always liked to make a stink!... More ›› 82 - What do you call someone who sticks his
right hand in
shark's mouths?
Lefty!... More ›› 83 - What do you get if you cross a grizzly
bear and a harp ?
A bear faced lyre !... More ›› 84 - What do reindeer say before telling you
a
joke ?
This one will sleigh you !... More ›› 85 - What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and
hates
neighbours ?
A hermit crab !... More ›› 86 - What animal do you look like when you
get
into the bath ?
A little bear !... More ›› 87 - What do you get if you cross a tiger
with a
kangeroo ?
A stripey jumper !... More ›› 88 - Why did the skunk buy four boxes of
tissues?
Because he had a stinking cold!... More ›› 89 - When should you feel sorry for a
skunk?
When its spray pump is out of order!... More ›› 90 - What is the feeling that you've
smelled a certain
skunk before?
Deja phew!... More ›› 91 - Q:
What did the emu say to the
nurse?
A: Mend her bones or walk the plank... More ›› 92 - What do you call the
reindeer with
one eye higher than the other?
Isaiah!... More ›› 93 - What do you get if you cross an eel
with a
shopper?
A slippery customer.... More ›› 94 - What do you get if you cross a tiger
with a sheep ?
A stripey sweater !... More ›› 95 - What's
black and white, stinks and
hangs from a line?
A drip dry skunk.... More ›› 96 - One goldfish to his tankmate:
"If
there's no God, who changes the water?"... More ›› 97 - How many skunks do you need to make a
house
really smelly?
Just a phew!... More ›› 98 - How can you tell a rabbit from a
skunk?
A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant!... More ›› 99 - What do you get if you
cross a
skunk and a cartoon penguin?
Pingu-Pong!... More ›› 100 - What do you do when two snails have a
fight?
Leave them to slug it out.... More ›› 101 - What purrs along the road and leaves
holes in
the lawn?
A Moles Royce.... More ›› 102 - Why was the young kangaroo thrown out
by his mother?
For smoking in bed.... More ›› 103 - Why do bears
have fur coats ?
Because they'd look stupid in anoraks !... More ›› 104 - What do you get if you cross
a
teddy bear with a pig ?
A teddy boar !... More ›› 105 - First Caribou: What kind of math do
owls like?
Second Caribou: Owlgebra.... More ›› 106 - What do you get
if you cross a
skunk with a bear ?
Winnie the Pooh !... More ›› 107 - How could the dolphin afford to buy a
house ?
He prawned everything !... More ›› 108 - Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love
the sound
of rain on your roof?"... More ›› 109 - What do you get if you cross a skunk
and a dinosaur?
A stinkasaurus!... More ›› 110 - Why is a reindeer like a gossip
?
Because they are both tail bearers !... More ›› 111 - What did the baby dolphin do when he
didn't get his
way?
He whale-d... More ›› 112 - How are tigers like sergeants in the
army ?
They both wear stripes !... More ›› 113 - What did the judge say when
the
skunk was on trial?
Odour in court!... More ›› 114 - What happens when sharks take their
clothes off ?
They go sharkers !... More ›› 115 - If a hungry shark is after you, what
should you feed it?
Jawbreakers!... More ›› 116 - Why did a gambler scare everyone out
swimming?
He was a card shark!... More ›› 117 - Why did the tadpole feel lonely ?
Because he was newt to the area !... More ›› 118 - What did the baby skunk want to be when
he grew up?
A big stinker!... More ›› 119 - What do you call a gigantic polar
bear?
Nothing, you just run away!... More ›› 120 - Why did the gray whale go on a
diet?
Because he wasn't a Fin whale!... More ›› 121 - Why did the jellyfish's wife leave
him?
He stung her into action.... More ›› 122 - How do snails get their shells all
shiny?
They use snail polish.... More ›› 123 - What is a chameleon's
motto ?
A change is as good as a rest !... More ›› 124 - Why did the dolphin feel crabby?
Because he ate too many crabs!... More ›› 125 - What happened when the lion ate the
comedian ?
He felt funny !... More ›› 126 - Did you hear the
joke about the
skunk?
Never mind, it stinks!... More ›› 127 - How does a
group of dolphin's make
a decision?
Flipper coin!... More ›› 128 - What did Cinderella Dolphin where to
the ball?
Glass flippers!... More ›› 129 - What do you call a neurotic octopus?
A crazy, mixed-up squid.... More ›› 130 - Why did the whale cross the road ?
To get to the other tide !... More ›› 131 - Why is polar bear cheap to have as a
pet ?
It lives on ice !... More ›› 132 - Which big cat should you never play
cards with ?
A cheetah !... More ›› 133 - What is the fiercest flower in the
garden ?
The tiger lily !... More ›› 134 - What's a skunk's philosophy of
life?
Eat, stink and be merry!... More ›› 135 - What do you give a deer with an upset
stomach?
Elkaseltzer.... More ›› 136 - Why was the lion-tamer fined ?
He
parked on a yellow lion !... More ›› 137 - What's a skunk's favourite game
in school?
Show and smell!... More ›› 138 - What is a
dolphin's favorite TV
show ?
Whale of fortune !... More ›› 139 - Why did the whale like the
diver?
Because he had flippers!... More ›› 140 - What do you call a show full
of
lions ?
The mane event !... More ›› 141 - What kind of tiles can't you stick on
walls ?
Reptiles !... More ›› 142 - What do you call rubber bumpers on
yachts?
Shark absorbers!... More ›› 143 - When is a lion not a lion ?
When he
turns into his cage !... More ›› 144 - How can you tell when a skunk is
angry?
It raises a stink!... More ›› 145 - Where do you find a down-and-out
octopus ?
On squid row !... More ›› 146 - What's an octopuses favourite latin
saying?
Squid pro quo!... More ›› 147 - What does an octopus take on a camping
trip?
Tentacles!... More ›› 148 - What are the most athletic
rodents?
Track and field mice.... More ›› 149 - What's a pet's favorite
day?
...Saint Petrick's Day... More ›› 150 - How do you start a teddy bear race ?
Ready, teddy, go !... More ›› 151 - What does an octopus wear on a cold
day?
A coat of arms!... More ›› 152 - Who was the most famous pirate
octopus?
Captain Squid!... More ›› 153 - What kind of sharks make good
carpenters?
Hammerheads!... More ›› 154 - What's a teddy bears favourite pasta ?
Tagliateddy !... More ›› 155 - Who held the baby octopus to ransom ?
Squidnappers !... More ›› 156 - What's the favourite flavour of
sharks?
Shark-o-late!... More ›› 157 - What is a whale's favorite TV
show?
Flukes of Hazard!... More ›› 158 - What kind of money do polar bears use ?
Ice lolly !... More ›› 159 - What is the best advice to give a worm?
Sleep late.... More ›› 160 - What did one skunk say to
another?
And so do you!... More ›› 161 - What is the most famous
shark?
William Sharkspeare!... More ›› 162 - How do you hire a teddy bear?
Put
him on stilts !... More ›› 163 - What do polar bears have for lunch ?
Ice burger !... More ›› 164 - What's at the end of Moby Dick?
A
whale of a time!... More ›› 165 - How do you weigh a whale?
On Whale
Weigh Scales.... More ›› 166 - Who robs banks and squirts ink?
Billy the Squid.... More ›› 167 - What should you call a bald teddy ?
Fred bear !... More ›› 168 - What is a bear's favourite drink ?
Koka-Koala !... More ›› 169 - What do you call a flying skunk?
A
smellicopter!... More ›› 170 - What happened to the cold jellyfish ?
It set !... More ›› 171 - How does an octopus go to war ?
Well-armed !... More ›› 172 - What does a squid sheriff form?
An
octoposse!... More ›› 173 - How should you treat a baby
goat?
Like a kid.... More ›› 174 - Why don't lobsters share?
They're
shellfish.... More ›› 175 - Why was the skunk angry?
He was
incensed!... More ›› 176 - Are shellfish warm?
No they're
clammy!... More ›› 177 - What kind of whale flies?
Pilot
whales!... More ›› 178 - Where do sharks come
from?
Sharkago!... More ›› 179 - What is a buttress?
A female
goat.... More ›› 180 - What gas do snails prefer?
Shell.... More ›› |
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