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BLOND
YO MOMMA
BIRTHDAY
KNOCK KNOCK
ANSWER ME THIS
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TOP 10 JOKES
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1st Accountant joke
How do you know accountants have no imagination?
They named a firm PricewaterhouseCoopers.
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2nd Accountant joke
A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job advertised in the Sydney Morning Herald.
He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch.
"I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me." "How do you mean?" says the accountant.
"I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters." "OK," says the accountant.
"How much are you offering?" "You can start on seventy-five thousand," says the owner.
"Seventy-five thousand dollars.
How can a business like this afford to pay so much?" "That," says the man, "is your first worry."
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3rd Old age joke
A strained voice called out through the darkened theater, "Please, is there a doctor in the house?!" Several men stood up as the lights came on.
An older lady pulled her daughter to stand next to her, "Good, are any of you doctors single and interested in a date with a good, Jewish girl?"
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4th Yo momma joke
Yo Mama's so fat that while she's sits on the beach, the lifeguard comes up to her to say, "Excuse me mame, but the tide wants to come in."
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5th Answer me this joke
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn the radio down?
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6th Accountant joke
An accountant applies for the position of Chief Financial Officer.
There are a number of candidates and he is called in for an interview.
They ask him a number of questions and one of the panel suddenly says "What is nine multiplied by four?" He thinks quickly and says "Thirty five." When the interview is over he goes outside, takes out his calculator and finds the correct answer is not thirty five.
He thinks "Well, I blew that" and goes home very disappointed.
Next day he is rung up and told he has got the job.
"Wonderful," he says, "but what about nine multiplied by four?
My answer wasn't right" "We know, but of all the candidates you came the closest."
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7th Apple joke
A Pittsburgh steel worker was driving through northern California's apple country.
He stopped at an orchard and asked the owner, "How much are yer apples?" "All you can pick for one dollar," said the rancher.
"Okay," said the Pennsylvanian.
"I'll take two dollars' worth."
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8th Halloween joke
What is a childs's favourite type of Halloween candy?
Lots a candy.
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9th Police joke
A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Morris gets out.
The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...and couldn't find his way home.
" Oy Morris ", said grandma, " You've been going to that park for over 30 years !
So how could you get lost ?
" Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear.
Morris whispered, " I wasn't lost.....I was just too tired to walk home."
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10th Accountant joke
Two accountants are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in.
While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc.
While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two's hand.
Without looking down, accountant number two whispers, "What is this?" to which accountant number one replies, "it's that $50 I owe you."
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