1 - When you call a dog, they usually come to
you.
When you call a cat; they take a message.... More ›› 2 - For all of you with teenagers or who have had
teenagers, or are a teenager, you may want to know... More ›› 3 - A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed
me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry h... More ›› 4 - How do cats
eat spaghetti ?
The same as
everyone else - they put it in their mouths!... More ›› 5 - How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling
?
She's got that down in the mouth look !... More ›› 6 - Q: What did the female cat say to the male cat? -
A: You're the
purrfect cat for me!... More ›› 7 - Q: Why do cats like to hear other cats make noise?
- A: It's meow-sic to their ears!... More ›› 8 - Q: What's every cat's favorite song? - A: Three
Blind Mice!... More ›› 9 - Little Tim
was in the garden filling in a hole
when his neighbor peered over the
fence. Intere... More ›› 10 - What do you call a cat that has just
eaten a
whole duck ?
A duck filled fatty puss !... More ›› 11 - How do cats eat spaghetti ?
The same as
everyone else - they put it in their mouths!... More ›› 12 - What kind of cat should you take into the
desert ?
A first aid kitty !... More ›› 13 - Q: What do cats like to eat on a hot day?
- A:
Mice cream... More ›› 14 - Q: What kind of
cats lay around the house? -
A: Car-pets!... More ›› 15 - What is a black cat's favourite TV show
?
Miami Mice !... More ›› 16 - What cat purrs more than any other ?
Purrsians
!... More ›› 17 - What looks like half a cat ?
The other half
!... More ›› 18 - A woman is walking in the park when she sees a man
playing chess with
his cat. She says to the m... More ›› 19 - "Doctor," said the
patient, "I need help! I
can't stop acting like a cat!"
"How long have you h... More ›› 20 - A guy walks into a laundry run by cats. "Excuse
me", he said to
the cat in charge, "Can you get... More ›› 21 - Why are cats longer
in the evening than they
are in the morning?
Because they're let out in the... More ›› 22 - There were four cats in a boat, one jumped out.
How
many were left ?
None. They were all copy c... More ›› 23 - What did the cat do when he swallowed some
cheese ?
He waited by the mouse hole with baited bre... More ›› 24 - Q: Why did the mother cat put stamps on her
kittens? - A: Because she
wanted to mail a litter.... More ›› 25 - What noise does a cat make going down the highway
?
Miaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow !... More ›› 26 - What do you get if you cross
a cat and a
gorilla ?
An animal that puts you out a night !... More ›› 27 - Teacher: Name four members of the cat
family
Pupil: Daddy cat, mummy cat and two kittens !... More ›› 28 - Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge
?
Because it turns "ice" into "mice" !... More ›› 29 - What do you call a black cat than can spring up to
a six foot wall ?
A good jumpurr !... More ›› 30 - Q: What do you call a cat when he first wakes up
with the alarm
clock? - A: Catsup!... More ›› 31 - How do you know that cats are sensitive
creatures?
They never cry over spilt milk !... More ›› 32 - Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin
?
There was some money in the kitty !... More ›› 33 - Why did the cat join the Red Cross ?
Because
she wanted to be a first-aid kit !... More ›› 34 - Q: What do you call the loser in a hissing,
scratching cat fight? - A: Claude... More ›› 35 - What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on
the sea ?
A catameringue !... More ›› 36 - What did the black cat say
to the fish
?
I've got a bone to pick with you !... More ›› 37 - Q: What do you call a
cat who's joined the
Red Cross? - A: A first-aid kit!... More ›› 38 - What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle
of
vinegar ?
A sourpuss !... More ›› 39 - Why did the cat sleep under the
car
?
Because she wanted to wake up oily !... More ›› 40 - What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes
to
swim ?
An octopuss !... More ›› 41 - Why is a crazy marmalade cat like
a biscuit
?
They are both ginger nuts !... More ›› 42 - What do you get if you cross a cat
with Father
Christmas ?
Santa Claws !... More ›› 43 - Why do black cats never shave ?
Because 8 out
of 10 cats prefer whiskas !... More ›› 44 - What works in a circus, walks a
tightrope and
has claws ?
An acrocat !... More ›› 45 - Q: When is a bad time to cross a black cat?
A:
When you are a mouse!... More ›› 46 - Q: Where did the kittens go on their class
trip? - A: To a mewseum.... More ›› 47 - Q: Which game did the cat want to play with the
mouse? - A: Catch.... More ›› 48 - What is another way to describe
a cat ?
A
heat seeking missile !... More ›› 49 - Q: Why do cats eat fur balls? - A: Because they
love a good
gag!... More ›› 50 - What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool
?
She had mittens !... More ›› 51 - Q: What kind
of work does a weak cat do? - A:
Light mouse work.... More ›› 52 - Brother: Did you put the cat out ? Sister: Why, is
it on
fire ?... More ›› 53 - What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree
?
A cat-a-logue !... More ›› 54 - What is another way to describe a cat ?
A heat
seeking missile !... More ›› 55 - How do you know if you cat's got a bad cold
?
He has cat-arrh !... More ›› 56 - On what should you mount a statue of your cat
?
A caterpillar !... More ›› 57 - What's furry, has whiskers and
chases outlaws
?
A posse cat !... More ›› 58 - Which big cat should
you never play cards with
?
A cheetah !... More ›› 59 - Why was the cat so small ?
Because it only ate
condensed milk !... More ›› 60 - Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
Because
of the tree bark.... More ›› 61 - If a cat won an Oscar, what would he get?
An
a-cat-emy award.... More ›› 62 - What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot
?
A carrot !... More ›› 63 - What did the cat say when he lost all his money
?
I'm paw !... More ›› 64 - Q: What do
you call a cat who eats lemons? -
A: A sourpuss!... More ›› 65 - Why are black cats such good singers?
They're
very mewsical.... More ›› 66 - Q: Why couldn't the cat speak?
A: The dog
taped his mouth.... More ›› 67 - What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have ?
A
catastrophe !... More ›› 68 - Who was the most powerful
cat in China
?
Chairman Miaow !... More ›› 69 - When is it unlucky to see a black cat ?
When
your a mouse !... More ›› 70 - What is the cat's favourite TV
show ?
The
evening mews !... More ›› 71 - Why do tomcats fight ?
Because they like
raising a stink !... More ›› 72 - What do cat
actors say on stage ?
Tabby or
not tabby !... More ›› 73 - Q: Where do cats write down notes? - A: Scratch
Paper!... More ›› 74 - What does a cat call a bowl of mice ?
A
purrfect meal !... More ›› 75 - Q: What do you call it when a cat bites? - A:
Catnip!... More ›› 76 - Q: Why does everyone love cats? - A: They're
purr-fect!... More ›› 77 - Q: What's a cat's second favorite food? - A:
Spa-catti!... More ›› 78 - Q: What do you call it when a cat stops? -
A:
A paws!... More ›› 79 - What is cleverer than a talking cat ?
A
spelling bee !... More ›› 80 - What do you call a cat wearing shoes ?
Puss in
boots !... More ›› 81 - What do cat actors say on stage ?
Tabby or not
tabby !... More ›› 82 - Q: How do cats buy things? - A: From a
cat-alogue!... More ›› 83 - When the cat's away.....?
The house smells
better !... More ›› 84 - What do cats read in the morning ?
Mewspapers
!... More ›› 85 - How is cat food sold ?
Usually purr can !... More ›› 86 - What is an octopus?
An eight-sided cat.... More ›› 87 - What's a cat's favorite food?
Petatoes!... More ›› 88 - Why do cats chase birds ?
For a lark !... More ›› |
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