1 - Two small time thieves had been sent by the
Big Boss to
steal a van load of goods from a bathroo... More ›› 2 - Why do they put a suicide watch on death row
prisoners? Why
would you care if a man you're plann... More ›› 3 - t was Christmas and the judge was in a merry
mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charge... More ›› 4 - What's another
word for a murderer who
kills old ladies?
A Killergran.... More ›› 5 - Who is the
biggest gangster in the sea
?
Al Caprawn !... More ›› 6 - It was
Rocky's first night in the
penitentiary. All of the inmates were in
their cells and he w... More ›› 7 - Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to
prison. During his stay, he got along well with the gua... More ›› 8 - Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to
prison. During his stay, he
got along well with the gua... More ›› 9 - An English
prisoner of war was held by
the Germans. The Englishman was shot all over
the place... More ›› 10 - A prisoner at
the Edmonton Max started
training a large fly to do tricks.
For years, for thou... More ›› 11 - Late one
night, a burglar broke into a
house he thought was empty. He tiptoed
through the livi... More ›› 12 - A
mafioso's son sits at his desk writing
a Christmas list to Jesus. He first
writes, "Dear bab... More ›› 13 - Two men,
sentenced to die in the electric
chair on the same day were led down to
the room in w... More ›› 14 - A computer geek goes to prison
for fraud,
they put him in a cell with a 300LB guy,
Having he... More ›› 15 - A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to
steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Lis... More ›› 16 - "What makes you think the
prisoner was
drunk?" asked the judge. "Well, Your Honor," replied the... More ›› 17 - Judge: You claim you robbed the grocery
store because you were starving. So why didn't you take... More ›› 18 - A boy is in a prison cell with no windows and
no doors: there are no holes in the ceiling or tra... More ›› 19 - When the school was broken into, the
thieves took absolutely everything - desks, books, blackboa... More ›› 20 - The criminal mastermind found one of his
gang sawing the legs off his bed. "What are you doing t... More ›› 21 - A police officer was escorting a
prisoner
to jail when his hat blew off.
"Shall I run and get... More ›› 22 - Judge: Tell me your occupation.
Prisoner;
I'm a locksmith, Your Honour.
Judge: Then what were... More ›› 23 - A stupid bank robber rushed into a bank,
pointed two fingers at
the clerk and said, "This is a m... More ›› 24 - A woman woke her husband in the middle of the
night. "There's a
burglar downstairs eating the ca... More ›› 25 - Newsflash: Two criminals have escaped from
prison today. One is
orange and 9ft tall, and the oth... More ›› 26 - A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was
about to be
executed.
"Have you any last reque... More ›› 27 - Bill: Where did you
get that gold watch
Joe?
Joe: I won it in a race.
Bill: How many people p... More ›› 28 - "Dad," said Fred to his father, who was a
bank robber. "I need $50 for the school trip tomorrow.... More ›› 29 - 'It's a pity
you've gone on hunger
strike,' said the convict's girlfriend on
visiting day. 'Wh... More ›› 30 - Victim (to mugger): But my watch isn't any
good, it only has sentimental value.
Mugger: That's... More ›› 31 - What is the difference between a thief and a
church
bell?
One steals from the people, the other... More ›› 32 - Fred: We had a burglary last night, and they
took everything except the
soap and towels.
Harry... More ›› 33 - Criminal: Why don't you hire these twins for
the robbery, boss?
Criminal Boss: I'm afraid of a... More ›› 34 - What did the burglar say to the
watchmaker as he tied him up?
Sorry to take so much of your va... More ›› 35 - Detective: How did you
get into
counterfeiting?
Criminal: I answered an ad that said, "Make mon... More ›› 36 - Detective: Why did you dump those vegetables
on my desk?
Criminal: You said it was time to spill... More ›› 37 - A rapist, a gangster and a murderer are in
the
same car...
Who is driving the car?
A police o... More ›› 38 - What did the
burglar say to the lady who
caught him stealing her silver?
I'm at your service,... More ›› 39 - Detective: Do you think
I should put on
the cuffs?
Criminal: Why? You look good in short sleeve... More ›› 40 - Why are burglars such good tennis players
?
Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts... More ›› 41 - Policeman: Did you
know your vehicle was
reported stolen?
Criminal: It wasn't when I took it.... More ›› 42 - Did you hear about the burglar who fell in
the
cement mixer?
Now he's a hardened criminal.... More ›› 43 - If you crossed a gangster and a garbage man,
what would
you have?
Organised grime (crime).... More ›› 44 - What do you get if you cross a bunch of
flowers
with a burglar ?
Robbery with violets !... More ›› 45 - Did you hear about the calendar thief?
He
got 12 months; they say his days are numbered!... More ›› 46 - Who was the world's greatest thief
?
Atlas, because he held up the whole world !... More ›› 47 - What kind of party do prisoners in jail
like most of all.
A going-away party.... More ›› 48 - Why is a sinking ship like a
person in
jail?
Because it needs bailing out.... More ›› 49 - Why would someone in jail want to catch the
measles?
So he could break out.... More ›› 50 - Knock Knock
Who's there !
Burglar
!
Burglar who ?
Burglars don't knock !... More ›› 51 - What do you call a mayfly with a criminal
tendencies ?
Baddy long legs !... More ›› 52 - What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a
prisoner ?
A Kong - vict !... More ›› 53 - When did the criminal get smart?
When the
judge threw the book at him.... More ›› 54 - Why did the burglar take a shower?
He
wanted to make a clean getaway... More ›› 55 - Judge: Why did you steal
that bird?
Prisoner: For a lark, sir.... More ›› 56 - What three letters in the alphabet frighten
criminals?
F.B.I.... More ›› 57 - What do you call a robbery in China ?
A
Chinese take away !... More ›› 58 - What was the parrot doing in prison ?
It
was a jail-bird !... More ›› 59 - Why do pens get sent to
prison ? To do
long sentences !... More ›› 60 - What hired killer never goes to jail?
The
exterminator.... More ›› 61 - What kind of robbery is not dangerous?
A
safe robbery.... More ›› 62 - Why was the robber bionic?
He was holding
up a bank.... More ›› 63 - Why was the robber so secure?
He was a
safe robber.... More ›› 64 - I think I hear burglars, dear. Are you awake?
No!... More ›› 65 - How do bank robbers send messages?
By flee
mail!... More ›› 66 - What diploma do criminals get?
The third
degree.... More ›› 67 - What kind of thief steals meat?
A
hamburglar.... More ›› 68 - Who is the strongest thief?
A
shoplifter.... More ›› 69 - What stars go to jail?
Shooting stars.... More ›› |
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