1 - One day, Bill and Tom went to a
restaurant for
dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks... More ›› 2 - When the waitress in a
New York City restaurant brought
him the soup du jour, the Englishman
w... More ›› 3 - And what's your name?" the
secretary asked
the next new boy. "Butter." "I hope your first
name... More ›› 4 - A
couple of kids tried using pickles for a
Ping-Pong game. They had the
volley of the Dills.... More ›› 5 - WIFE: The 2 things I cook best
are meatloaf
and apple pie.
HUSBAND: Which is this?... More ›› 6 - What's the fastest cake in the world?
Meriiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnngue.... More ›› 7 - What's red and green and wears
boxing
gloves?
A fruit punch.... More ›› 8 - Knock Knock
Who's there !
Beef !
Beef
who ?
Beef fair now !... More ›› 9 - Q: What do you call cheese that's not
yours?
A: Nacho cheese!... More ›› 10 - What cheese is made
backwards?
Edam.... More ›› 11 - A man
went into a deli shop and took a seat
at the lunch counter. "Give me a
corned beef sandw... More ›› 12 - A customer was bothering the waiter in a
restaurant.
First, he asked that the air conditioning b... More ›› 13 - A customer was bothering the
waiter in a
restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning b... More ›› 14 - An elderly couple were killed in an accident and
found themselves
being given a tour of heaven b... More ›› 15 - An elderly couple were killed in an
accident
and found themselves being given a tour of heaven b... More ›› 16 - In February 1994 in New Brighton, Minn., a
32-year-old man and his 24-year-old girlfriend were a... More ›› 17 - At a dinner party, one
of the guests, an
obnoxiously loud young
man, tried to make clever rema... More ›› 18 - An
irate woman burst into the baker's shop
and said, "I sent my son in for
two pounds of cooki... More ›› 19 - A friend and I were standing in line at a
fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.
T... More ›› 20 - A fat girl went into a cafe and ordered
two
slices of apple pie with four scoops of ice cream co... More ›› 21 - Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to
eat?
Father: Have I not told you never to mention suc... More ›› 22 - The
American tourist in Dublin had been
complaining a great deal about the
food.
"Here," h... More ›› 23 - I went to see my doctor to see if he could help
me give up smoking.
What did he say?
He sugg... More ›› 24 - A family of three tomatoes
were walking
downtown one day when the little baby tomato started
l... More ›› 25 - A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown
one day when the little baby tomato started lag... More ›› 26 - A lady was picking through the
frozen turkeys
at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big en... More ›› 27 - At a party, a conjurer was producing egg after
egg from a little
boy's ear.
"There!" he said p... More ›› 28 - Several women were discussing what they should
have for
dinner. "If you're watching your weight,... More ›› 29 - First boy: She had a beautiful pair of eyes, her
skin
had the glow of a peach, her cheeks were l... More ›› 30 - "May I take your order?" the waiter asked.
"Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?"
"Nothing s... More ›› 31 - Did you hear about the teacher who was trying to
instil good table manners in her girls?
She t... More ›› 32 - Mom: Fred, there were two chocolate cakes in the
larder yesterday, and now there's only one. Why... More ›› 33 - What are the four food groups?
For
bachelors: Fast, Frozen, Junk and Spoiled.
For drinkers: Ma... More ›› 34 - Fred: I thought there was a choice for lunch
today. .
Cook: There is.
Fred: No, there isn't. T... More ›› 35 - WIFE: "You look tired, honey. How about a
nice steak, mashed potatoes and an apple pie for desse... More ›› 36 - What could you do if you were on a
desert
island without food or water?
Open your watch: drink... More ›› 37 - Three cookies were crossing the road when the
first one was knocked down. What did the third coo... More ›› 38 - A tourist walked into a fish and chip shop in
Ireland. "I'll have fish and chips twice," he orde... More ›› 39 - Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. "Why are
we running so fast?" asked one.
"Because," sai... More ›› 40 - Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. "Why are
we running so
fast?" asked one.
"Because," sai... More ›› 41 - If there were no food left, what could people
do?
Country people could eat their forest preserves... More ›› 42 - Flo: Try some of my sponge cake.
Joe: It's a
bit tough.
Flo: That's strange. I only bought the... More ›› 43 - What's the difference between a biscuit and a
monster?
You can dip a biscuit in your tea, but a... More ›› 44 - Girl: Did you like that cake, Mrs Jones?
Mrs
Jones: Yes, very much.
Girl: That's funny. My mom... More ›› 45 - Fred! What did I say I'd do if I found
you
with your fingers in the butter again?
That's funny... More ›› 46 - Boy: What's black, slimy,
with hairy legs
and eyes on stalks?
Mom: Eat the cookies and don't w... More ›› 47 - Don't eat the cookies so fast they'll keep.
I know, but I want to eat as many as I can before I... More ›› 48 - How does a witch make scrambled eggs?
She
holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove s... More ›› 49 - What did the snake say when he was offered a
piece of
cheese for dinner?
Thank you, I'll just... More ›› 50 - Jimmy, how many more times must I tell you to
come
away from that cookie tin?
No more, mom. It... More ›› 51 - How can you tell the
difference between a can
of chicken soup and a can of tomato soup?
Read t... More ›› 52 - Q: Ever wonder
about people who pay $2 for a
bottle of Evian water?
A: Just spell "Evian" bac... More ›› 53 - My Aunt Maud had so many candles
on her last
birthday cake that all her party guests got sunburn... More ›› 54 - Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a
slice
of bread.
Doctor: You've got to stop loafing aroun... More ›› 55 - Teacher: If you saw me standing by a witch, what
fruit
would it remind you of?
Pupil: A pear.... More ›› 56 - Camper: There's
something wrong with my hot
dog.
Cook: Don't tell me. I'm not a veterinarian.... More ›› 57 - What happens
if you play tabletennis with a
bad egg?
First it goes ping, then it goes pong.... More ›› 58 - What's the difference between a homeless and a
pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of four.... More ›› 59 - How do you know that a elephant's been in the
fridge?
There are foot prints in the butter. "... More ›› 60 - What's the difference between a vampire
and
a cookie?
You can't dip a vampire in your tea.... More ›› 61 - What do you get if you cross a bee with a quarter
of a pound of ground beef?
A humburger.... More ›› 62 - What did the female mushroom say
about the
male mushroom?
"He's a real fun guy [fungi]."... More ›› 63 - Q. What's worse
than finding a worm in the
apple you're eating?
A. Finding half a worm.... More ›› 64 - Why can't you make bread like my mother?
I
would if you could make dough like your father!... More ›› 65 - I thought you were trying to get into shape?
I
am. The shape I've selected is a triangle.... More ›› 66 - My brother's on a seafood
diet.
Really?
Yes, the more he sees food the more he eats.... More ›› 67 - On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker
under the pancakes. She blew her stack.... More ›› 68 - Mummy! Mummy! Have you seen my Cabbage Patch
Doll?
Be quiet and finish your coleslaw!... More ›› 69 - Knock Knock
Who's there !
Butter
!
Butter who ?
Butter wrap up - it's cold out here !... More ›› 70 - A new chef from India
was fired a week after
starting the job. He keep favoring curry.... More ›› 71 - Why did the teacher have
her hair in a bun?
Because she had her nose in a hamburger.... More ›› 72 - Q: What did one strawberry say to the
other?
A:"Look at the jam you've gotten us into!"... More ›› 73 - Why did your brother give up his job in the
biscuit factory?
Because he went crackers.... More ›› 74 - Have you got any broken
biscuits?
Yes, I
have.
Well, you shouldn't be so clumsy!... More ›› 75 - Say something soft and sweet to me. Dracula:
Marshmallows,
chocolate fudge cake...... More ›› 76 - What is the title of the new Vietnamamese
cookbook ?
100 way to wok your dog.... More ›› 77 - Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bacon !
Bacon
who ?
Bacon a cake for your birthday !... More ›› 78 - Fred wrote in her homework book: Margarine is
butter made from imitation cows.... More ›› 79 - Why are fried onions like a photocopy machine?
They keep repeating themselves.... More ›› 80 - Did
you hear about the two peanuts walking in
the woods?
One was "a-salted."... More ›› 81 - Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bean !
Bean
who ?
Bean working very hard today !... More ›› 82 - What did the ice cream say
to the unhappy
cake?
"Hey, what's eating you?"... More ›› 83 - The snack bar next door to an
atom smasher
was called "The Fission Chips."... More ›› 84 - A friend got some vinegar in his ear, now he
suffers from pickled hearing.... More ›› 85 - What did the biscuit say when it
saw two
friends knocked down?
Crumbs!... More ›› 86 - What do you call an egg from outer space?
An
unidentified flying omelet!... More ›› 87 - I'd say he was spineless.
Yes, about as
spineless as cooked spaghetti.... More ›› 88 - What sort of soup do
skeletons like?
One
with plenty of body in it.... More ›› 89 - Why did the biscuit cry?
Because its mother
had been a wafer so long.... More ›› 90 - Have you heard the story about the
loaf of
bread?
No.
Oh, crumbs.... More ›› 91 - What do you get if you cross an alien and a
hot drink ?
Gravi-tea !... More ›› 92 - Q:
What what can you make from baked beans
and onions?
A: Tear gas.... More ›› 93 - Q. What did the salt say to the pepper?
A. Hey
Baby, what's SHAKING!... More ›› 94 - Why did the grape cross the road?
To get
away from the grapefruit.... More ›› 95 - They say she has a sharp tongue.
Yes, she can
slice bread with it.... More ›› 96 - Do you feel like a glass of carrot juice?
Why? Do I look like one?... More ›› 97 - Would you like a duck egg for supper?
Only if
you quack it for me.... More ›› 98 - When Lee ate raw onions for a week what did he
become?
Lone Lee.... More ›› 99 - Q.Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. He
was feeling crummy!... More ›› 100 - What looks just
like half a loaf of bread?
Its other half.... More ›› 101 - What do you call two
rows of cabbages ?
A
dual cabbageway !... More ›› 102 - Why are oranges like bells?
You can peel
(peal) both of them.... More ›› 103 - The four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant, and
Chocolate.... More ›› 104 - Overweight is something that just sort of
snacks up on you.... More ›› 105 - How can you make a soup rich?
Add 14 carrots
(carats) to it.... More ›› 106 - What food are you able to can?
Cannibal (can
able) food.... More ›› 107 - What is small, furry and smells like bacon?
A
hamster.... More ›› 108 - What ghost is handy in the
kitchen?
A
recipe spook.... More ›› 109 - What
cake wanted to rule the world?
Attila the Bun.... More ›› 110 - What musical instrument goes with cheese?
Picklelo.... More ›› 111 - Sign in restaurant window: "Eat now - Pay
waiter."... More ›› 112 - What do cannibals eat for breakfast?
Buttered
host.... More ›› 113 - What's a fresh vegetable? One that insults a
farmer.... More ›› 114 - Q: What do you call a
fake noodle?
A: An
Impasta.... More ›› 115 - How do you make gold soup?
Put 14 carrots in
it.... More ›› 116 - What food is good for the brain?
Noodle
soup.... More ›› 117 - What's the best day to eat bacon?
Fry-day.... More ›› 118 - What's red and invisible?
No
tomatoes.... More ›› 119 - What vegetable needs a plumber?
A leek.... More ›› 120 - What's a doll's favorite food?
Barbie-Q!... More ›› |
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